Letters to My Daughters by Barbara Rainey

Author:Barbara Rainey [Rainey, Barbara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Christian Living/Marriage, REL012050, REL012030
ISBN: 9781441229892
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2017-09-19T04:00:00+00:00

Our discussions flipped back and forth like your beautiful tumbling across the floor exercise mat. You could execute up to ten back handsprings in a row without stopping, and we matched every one in each discussion. And neither of us changed position.

Finally, I wearied of our lack of resolution. It seemed we talked about nothing else, and it was affecting our marriage. At the end of one of our weekly date nights, again dominated by this conversation, I decided one of us had to give up the fight. My understanding of the biblical pattern for marriage reminded me I had a choice to follow, to trust that God was leading through your dad. So I told him I’d follow his lead regardless of how I felt. And then I prayed God would show him he was wrong.

The next day God gave me a peace that this was right. When your dad explained our decision, you had no hesitation about quitting, which surprised me. The freedom from the hours spent in the car was greater than I ever imagined, and I thought, Wow, God, you know what you’re doing!

This was a pivotal moment for me in our marriage, as I saw God leading so clearly through your dad for my good and for Rebecca’s good. It was as if we’d been at opposite ends of a line dance for those months; then suddenly the music changed and we were partners again, dancing eye to eye and with an ease we hadn’t had in a long long time. You see, what made this difficult decision work so well was that it was “unto the Lord,” a biblical phrase that simply means my decision to follow was in the context of a spiritual reality that is far greater than my little marriage. The bottom line is I trusted God more than I trusted my husband. I believed He was big enough to change my husband if he was wrong, or He would change me if I was wrong. So ultimately I was open to God’s doing what He needed to do.

Following in marriage, which includes both trusting and submitting, is ultimately about cooperation with each other and with God. I am willing to follow because I trust the pattern; I submit to the order God has established for making a marriage dance move beautifully. We are in this relationship together for life. I have learned that your dad has my best interests at heart and wants good for me. Even when he makes selfish decisions—which are increasingly rare—they are never intended to harm me or cause me pain. Because I believe God’s pattern is worth the risk of following, I want to cooperate with him, to work together in harmony; therefore, most of the time following is not that hard. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make it easier.

Watching Rebecca tumble was a season of joy and delight in my life. A gift of grace. But moving in harmony with the music

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