Jonah and Co. by Dornford Yates

Author:Dornford Yates
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Jonah & Co
ISBN: 9780755127177
Publisher: House of Stratus
Published: 2013-06-09T04:00:00+00:00

“Satisfactorily,” said Berry, restoring his napkin to his knees, “to consume oxtail, one should be stripped to the waist.”

“That’ll do,” said Daphne.

“As a rule,” said her husband, “it will. Of course, for a really careless feeder, still further divestment may be desirable. Afterwards he can be hosed. And now about Spain. Of course, without Piers to talk for us, we shall be mocked, misled, and generally stung to glory. But there you are. If you’re landed with half a kingdom, I guess it’s up to you to take possession.”

“As at present arranged,” said Jonah, “we start the day after tomorrow, spend one night at Pampeluna, two at San Sebastian, and get back on Saturday.”

“One clear day,” murmured Daphne. “I suppose that’ll give us time.”

“What’s there to do,” said Adèle, “besides packing?”

“Not much,” said Jonah. “The passports have been visa-ed, and that’s the main thing. We must get some money at the bank – Spanish money, I mean – book rooms, run over the cars… I can’t think of anything else.”

“We’d better take some insecticide,” said Berry. “Spain’s very conservative.”

“Nonsense,” said Daphne.

“All right,” said her husband. “Only, on the command ‘Ter-rot,’ don’t wake me to inspect the bodyguard. Have we any castanets? And what about some sombreros? I mean, I want to do the thing properly.”

“Thanks,” said his wife. “But if you’re going in fancy dress, I’d rather remain at Pau. I haven’t forgotten our second Sunday here.”

“I shall always maintain,” was the reply, “that I was suitably dressed. On the previous Sunday I had carefully studied the fashions upon the Boulevard, and I flatter myself that, had I been permitted to appear in public, my attire would have found immediate favour.”

“If,” said I, “I remember aright, it consisted of a white bowler, a morning-coat, golf-breeches, blue silk stockings and cloth-topped boots.”

“That’s right,” said Berry. “And an alpenstock. I ought really to have had my cuffs trimmed with skunk,” he added wistfully, “but I thought of it too late.”

“I tell you what,” said Adèle. “We must take some films.”

“That’s right,” said Jill. “I promised Piers we’d send him some snapshots.”

Jonah groaned.

“Surely,” he said, “our passport photographs are bad enough.”

“The camera,” said Berry, “can never lie. Besides, I’m very fond of your passport portrait. I admit I hadn’t previously noticed that your right ear was so much the larger of the two, but the cast in your left eye is very beautifully insisted upon. Mine, I must confess, is less successful. Had I been told that it was a study of the Honorary Treasurer of the Splodgeworth Goose Club on bail, I should have held it an excellent likeness. Daphne’s is very good. She’s wearing that particularly sweet expression of hers. You can almost hear her saying, ‘Mine’s a large port.’ Apart, they’re bad enough, but with both of them on the same document – well, why we weren’t turned back at Boulogne I shall never know. Boy’s, again, is lifelike.”

“Shame,” said Adèle. “He looks all bloated.”

“I know he does, sweetheart. But that’s his own fault.

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