Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit? by Steve Lowe & Alan Mcarthur & Brendan Hay

Author:Steve Lowe & Alan Mcarthur & Brendan Hay [LOWE, STEVE]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: HUM000000
ISBN: 9780446543408
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2008-11-12T05:00:00+00:00

JUICE DRINK

Juice: It is, almost by definition, a drink. Add the word drink to the word juice and you might imagine it becomes even more drinky, which is potentially delicious. But no. If anything, it becomes less drinky. And it certainly becomes less juicy. In fact, your average “juice drink” often contains a mere 10% juice; that’s compared with the fulsome 100% juice that’s always contained in “juice.” Which should make people say things like: “What happened there then? What did you do with all the juice?”

What if you needed to unwind after a hard day and dreamed of downing a bottle of tasty wine but the local liquor store only carried something called “wine drink”; then, on returning home, you find the bottle contains just 10% of the wine of a normal bottle of wine (which is 100% wine) while the rest was just spit and rain?

You wouldn’t be happy. You might not even get that drunk. And then, when you start shouting about the whole matter outside your local liquor store, banging on the shuttered windows with your bloodied fists screaming “Where is my fucking booze?” you’d definitely have justice on your side.

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