Imperfect Courage by Jessica Honegger

Author:Jessica Honegger [Honegger, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2018-08-14T00:00:00+00:00

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Creating compassionate spaces of belonging for ourselves and others is well worth doing, and it has the potential to heal us of the wounds we just can’t get free from alone. But even more than that, compassionate spaces have the power to save lives. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, in the shape of a beautiful girl named Hope.

In Uganda, where one and a half million people are living with HIV, many people who are diagnosed HIV positive long to hide their diagnosis, for fear of the stigma that still lingers regarding the disease. They deny that they have HIV. They avoid the topic of HIV. And they pray with every ounce of their being that they are never, ever found out.

Yes, the symptoms of HIV are highly treatable. Yes, with correct use of antiretroviral (ARV) drugs, HIV is now almost nontransmittable, even through sex. Yes, those who are HIV positive can lead thriving and beautiful lives. But in Uganda, the stigma remains, making it a terrifying prospect for the infected to reach out for the treatment they need.

Such was the case for Hope, an inspiring young Ugandan girl I met on a recent visit. Hope’s mother had lived a difficult life and had contracted HIV before she became pregnant with Hope. It wasn’t until Hope was older that her mother explained to her that she, Hope, was HIV positive. Although it grieved her mother to have to tell her the truth, she knew that Hope deserved to know.

Hope was immediately filled with shame. She couldn’t believe that, through no choice of her own, she had come to be infected. For a while, she simply tried to deny it, to live as though it weren’t true. As the disease progressed and Hope became sicker and sicker, she quit speaking to her mother altogether. She was done with this diagnosis, and she was done with her family too. Hope’s mom, not knowing what to do, asked Jalia if she could intervene. This would require Hope to practice vulnerability by disclosing to Jalia what was troubling her. But as Hope shared with Jalia, and Jalia met her story with compassion, empathy, and practical help, the shame lost its power.

Soon enough, Hope realized that by pretending she didn’t have HIV and by pretending to hate her mom, she was welcoming anger, isolation, and fear into her life. If only she would tell the truth—about her status, about her persisting love for her mom—she could chart a course out of her debilitating pain. Who knows? She might even find a way to thrive.

The day dawned when Hope did an unimaginable thing: she owned her HIV-positive status, and she reconnected with her mom. She began to live as though she had nothing to be ashamed of. She started meds to manage the disease. And today, she’s a happy, healthy, living testament to vulnerability’s force. In fact, Noonday’s scholarship program, which was begun in 2014 to help the children in Jalia and

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