Ignatius MacFarland by Paul Feig

Author:Paul Feig [FEIG, PAUL]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: JUV000000
ISBN: 9780316039932
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2008-08-31T16:00:00+00:00

23

OUT OF THE FRYING PAN . . .

As the two trees groaned and cracked and started to fall over and Karen and I tried to hold on to the walkway to keep from sliding off it and plunging several hundred feet to “meet our maker,” as my grandma used to say when somebody died, we both heard a voice yell, “IGGY!”

We looked up and saw Foo hovering right above us. She was holding a rope. I looked and saw that it stretched behind her and was tied to the walkway of the next tree over. She threw it down to us and yelled, “JUMP!”

As soon as the rope hit us, Karen and I grabbed onto it and quickly realized that it was going to be a bit awkward for both of us to swing on the rope at the same time. However, the only option other than “awkward” was “dead,” and so we grabbed the rope together and hung on tight. That turned out to be a good thing because there was a super loud CRACK! and the tree we were on plunged out from under our feet and crashed to the ground.

Karen and I were suddenly airborne, falling as we both screamed and clung even tighter to the rope. I felt Karen’s legs wrap around my knees as she tried to get herself as securely fastened to the rope as possible. Her leg muscles were so strong that I thought she was going to break my kneecaps.

It felt like we were falling forever, even though it was probably only a few seconds. Then suddenly I felt the rope go taut and we started swinging toward the tree that the rope was tied to like two out-of-control Tarzans. I think I was screaming pretty loudly because I remember Karen saying, “You’re hurting my ears,” but you’d be screaming, too, if you were me, since I was facing the tree and could see that we were seconds away from smashing directly into it and getting impaled on all its little sharp thorns. And while I was grateful to Foo for helping us out with the rope and all, I couldn’t help feeling like she hadn’t really thought out the entire plan.

We started to turn as we swung and Karen suddenly had a view of what I was screaming about.

“Iggy,” she yelled, “hold out your feet and push us past the tree when we hit it.”

“Me?” I yelled back. “My legs aren’t strong enough. You do it!”

“Oh, God, you’re such a wuss! We’re going too fast. We’ll both have to do it.”

We were almost at the tree and swinging in rapidly. Way too rapidly for our legs to do much other than break and get perforated by the thorns. But since we had no other options, we both held out our feet and waited for what we knew was going to be a majorly painful and potentially catastrophic collision.

And that was when I realized that Foo actually had thought out her plan a bit more than I’d assumed she had.

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