If You've Got It, Haunt It: A kooky, spooky, cozy fantasy with spice (Grimdale Graveyard Mysteries Book 2) by Steffanie Holmes

Author:Steffanie Holmes [Holmes, Steffanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bacchanalia House
Published: 2023-07-17T23:00:00+00:00

20

Bree

“Now, Pax, you oversized sack of potatoes, what is this?” Edward gestures to the crystal water glass set up on the table beside a dazzling array of different-sized knives and forks.

Pax’s face brightens. “It is a secret weapon. You smash delicate glass, then use shards to stab your enemy—”

“Wrong!” Edward boxes Pax around the ears. “Try again, and this time, try not to be so bloody Roman.”

It’s a couple of days after my fight with Dani, and I’m watching Edward school Pax on table manners. Edward has spent most of the morning painstakingly arranging the dining room into a table fit for a prince, and he’s now making Pax remember what every single tiny fork is used for.

“It is not polite to scratch one’s scrotum at the dinner table,” Edward whacks Pax around the ears again. Truthfully, I’m sure he only agreed to teach Pax because it would allow him the opportunity to get away with slapping the Roman around. “Nor is it appropriate to dip one’s giant Roman schnoz into the gravy—”

“But we do that all the time!” Pax complains. “Ambrose is doing it right now.”

“Ahem…” Ambrose straightens up from where he has had his head stuck in the gravy float. He looks sheepish. “We ghosts must take our simple pleasures where we may—”

“Shhhhh,” I whisper as I hear Father Bryne’s door creak open. “He’s coming downstairs.”

I leap out of the dining room, pulling the door shut behind me so Father Bryne doesn’t notice the table setting or the forks moving through the air of their own accord. I dart into the kitchen and pull the French toast I made earlier from the warming drawer.

“Good morning Father. Did you sleep well?” I set down his breakfast and hand him a bowl of blueberries, which he distributes liberally on top of his French toast.

“Yes, thank you. The beds here are so comfortable. This house has such a lovely feeling about it – a real weight of history.” He peers around the kitchen with a smile as the ghosts leap through the wall behind him. If only he could see the royal rake with ridiculous codpiece and the glass shard in his backside, or the Victorian gentleman with his head stuck in the cream bowl. Father Bryne takes a bite of his breakfast. “Delicious, as always. You’re up early this morning, Bree. Do you have something interesting to do today? More filming for the cemetery social media?”

“I’m going to a funeral.” I indicate my black dress and my good pair of New Rock boots. “This old woman, Vera, was murdered in the village a couple of days before you arrived. I found her body.”

“Oh, that’s horrible. I shall accompany you. A lovely woman such as yourself shouldn’t have to attend a funeral alone.”

“I won’t be alone,” I say quickly. “Pax is going with me.”

For my sins.

“Even more reason for me to join you.” Father Bryne wipes his mouth on the napkin. “Your friend possesses many great qualities, but gravitas is not one of them.

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