If You'd Just Let Me Finish by Jeremy Clarkson

Author:Jeremy Clarkson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781405939065
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2018-08-16T16:00:00+00:00

Sex is running riot on TV – and I fear Countdown’s next

A new period drama started on the television and, while I didn’t watch it, I have seen all the coverage about how it was full of grunting Frenchmen playing Hide the Sausage and a pretty woman wandering about dreamily in a set of wet net curtains.

This seems to have annoyed large numbers of tweedy people who think that sex is a chore. They dismiss claims that it’s natural by saying, ‘So is defecating and menstruating, and we don’t want to see that on the television either.’

Or do we? When I was growing up in the 1970s the BBC used to screen something called Play for Today in which there was some talking followed by a huge amount of sweaty sex. Then there was Bouquet of Barbed Wire, in which Susan Penhaligon found a variety of different reasons each week to remove her shirt. And on it went. Sex and nudity were so commonplace that I wouldn’t have been surprised if Valerie Singleton had turned up on Blue Peter in a peephole bra. And nothing else.

At the cinema, things were even more free and easy. People queued round the block to see Emmanuelle and I wasn’t even mildly shocked in Young Winston when a topless woman suddenly appeared in shot for absolutely no reason at all.

Nor did I bat an eyelid when, in the middle of Battle of Britain, Susannah York decided to slip out of her air force uniform for a moment and wander about in her stockings and suspenders.

In every bus stop and every lay-by, there was invariably a large collection of mildly used pornographic magazines, and at the theatre, all the girls had their 1970s welcome mats on display all the time. The first time I saw Glenda Jackson wearing clothes, I was genuinely amazed. Helen Mirren too.

But then, one day, it all just stopped. We had Dallas and Dynasty and EastEnders and there wasn’t even a whiff of rumpy-pumpy in any of them. We got so used so quickly to actors and actresses wearing clothes that we all ran around in a tizzy during Baywatch because Pamela Anderson nearly wasn’t.

Paul Raymond was driven out of Soho, along with all the shops where you could buy a smutty VHS. And at the newspaper shop the Daily Mail decided that all nipples were revolting and must therefore be pixellated.

What happened is plain for all to see. Television audiences began to decline. Newspaper circulation figures fell off a cliff. Nuts shut. Theatres began to close. And all the while, sex on the internet was becoming more and more popular. I read the other day that one of the most visited sites in the world right now is Pornhub. That’s why no one is going out to play, because they’re all at home, playing with themselves.

Plainly, television executives have noticed this, which is why, all of a sudden, the nipple and the lady garden are back with a vengeance. We

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.