If I Were the Ocean, I'd Carry You Home by Pete Hsu

Author:Pete Hsu
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781636280547
Publisher: Red Hen Press
Published: 2022-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Maggie takes the beer from his hand. It’s still cold. She takes a sip. She asks him who invited those two, meaning Hanna and Walt. He doesn’t say anything. He just shrugs. It’s his most common gesture.

He doesn’t want to be with Maggie. He keeps trying to think of ways to break up with her. He’s not sure why he doesn’t want to be with her, except maybe it’s because she’s too tall for him. She’s taller than him by almost an inch. Also, her hair is itchy. And also, he doesn’t know if she likes him. She’s never said anything, but he thinks she also wants to break up, and she’s trying to make him do it. But he’s trying to make her do it. He admits, this is dumb, and it’s dishonest, and it’d be better if he were upfront and didn’t make up stories in his head, but still he lets it continue on.

Maggie puts her hand on his shoulder. “Seriously though, what’s wrong?”

He shrugs. “Walt’s cool.”

“Not him. I’m worried about you, Reggie.”

Reggie says, “Oh.”

Maggie kisses him on the forehead and asks him if he wants to go home.

Reggie says, “It’s your party,” which it is; it’s Maggie’s graduation party. She’s just graduated from art school. Transportation Design. It’s kind of a big deal, but she says, “I don’t really care for parties.”

Then this guy named Khalil comes over and starts talking to Maggie. Reggie just met Khalil. Khalil also went to art school, graduated the year before. Fine Art. Reggie watches them talk. The two of them look nice together. Maggie is tall and Khalil is tall. Reggie wonders if people think he has a hang-up about being short. He honestly doesn’t have any issues about being short. It’s not even that he’s so short. It’s just that he’s not tall.

Reggie says, “I’m gonna get another beer.”

Maggie and Khalil don’t seem to hear him. He doesn’t get another beer. He goes outside instead to have a cigarette. He doesn’t have to go outside to smoke. There are people smoking inside, but he goes outside anyway. As he goes through the door to the backyard, he sees Hanna. She’s not with anyone. He stops and watches her. She’s smoking. She has a can of cola that she’s using as an ashtray. She’s holding the can in her one hand and her cigarette in the other. She looks over. They make eye contact. Reggie gets nervous. He almost turns to walk back into the house, but Hanna calls his name.

“Chiang,” she says. “We keep finding each other.”

Reggie says, “Divine intervention.”

He’s embarrassed for saying that but also proud, because he’s not usually good at banter. Not that this is banter, but it’s something like banter.

Hanna says, “What are the odds?”

Reggie should say something clever to keep the banter going, something about the odds actually being very high, but he can’t think of a clever way to say it. Hanna doesn’t say anything clever back either. She just asks him if he came out to smoke.

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