I Know I'm In There Somewhere by Helene Brenner

Author:Helene Brenner
Language: eng
Format: azw3, mobi, epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2004-05-03T03:00:00+00:00

Molly, a forty-one-year-old account manager, was having trouble at her job. Her workload had increased, and she was having to work longer hours and come in on weekends for a boss whom she couldn’t seem to please.

Molly could have tried to rise above how she felt, which wouldn’t have helped much, or she could have spent her whole session telling me how awful her job and her boss were. Instead Molly chose to listen to her feelings as if she were listening to a friend.

“So what’s going on inside?” I asked.

She smiled, picking up on my cue, and closed her eyes.

She breathed deeply and slowly a few times, paying calm, careful attention to the sensations in her body. “There’s this really sad feeling filling me,” she began.

She was silent for a while. “It’s . . . exhaustion. It’s sheer, utter exhaustion. I’ve just been pushing myself, and pushing myself, and pushing myself.”

She paused again. “And there’s a tightness in my chest . . . I’ve just been so angry. It feels like I’m being hit by huge waves and I can’t stop them or get out of the way.

“I’m really feeling just how angry I’ve been inside. This isn’t what I wanted. . . .”

For the next few minutes she kept acknowledging and feeling all the exhausted, angry and helpless feelings she’d been keeping tied up inside. Yet despite the intensity of what she was feeling, she never acted as though she was furious or helpless. Disidentification moderated the feelings. Suddenly she relaxed and laughed. “God!” she said. “I haven’t felt this human in ages!”

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