I is Another by Jon Fosse

Author:Jon Fosse [Fosse, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Tags: Fiction
Publisher: Transit Books
Published: 2021-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

V

AND I SEE MYSELF STANDING and looking at the picture with the two lines that cross near the middle and it’s morning and today’s Thursday and I’ve lit the stove and the room is starting to get warm, and yesterday I drove to Bjørgvin and delivered my paintings to Beyer, I think, and I feel exhausted and I stand in front of the easel and I look at those two lines that cross near the middle, one brown and one purple and I think that I don’t like this picture, because I can’t stand pictures that directly paint feelings even if I’m the only one who knows it, that isn’t the kind of thing I paint, it’s not the kind of thing I want to paint, because a painting can certainly be filled with feelings but you shouldn’t paint feelings themselves, like screaming and weeping and wailing, I think, and I think that this is a truly bad painting, that’s what it is, but at the same time it is what it needs to be, what it’s going to be, it’s done and there’s no more to do on it and I hear Åsleik say St Andrew’s Cross, emphasizing the words, he says the words with pride, emphasizing them, it’s revolting, and it is a St Andrew’s Cross, I think and I think that I need to put the picture away, or maybe I should just paint over it with white? I could do that, and once I’ve done it and the paint dries I can start painting a new picture on top of the St Andrew’s Cross, but I don’t want to do that, I don’t have any desire to paint over this picture, in fact I have no desire whatsoever to paint anymore at all, I think, and the only thing I considered painting was painting over this picture in white, the same as I’ve done with so many other pictures, but I didn’t do it, and maybe that’s because there’s something in this picture after all? maybe it’s a good picture even though I don’t like it? I think, because that often happens, that the pictures I dislike most are the best ones, and the ones I like best are the worst ones, strangely enough, that’s the way it often is, how good or bad something is doesn’t have anything to do with how much I like it or don’t like it, only with how good or bad it is, whether it’s good art or bad art, because art is about quality, not about liking or not liking it, not at all, and it’s not about taste either, quality is something that just exists in the picture whether it’s beautiful or ugly, and anyway for something to be beautiful it has to also be ugly, that’s how it is, and of course good and evil exist in the same way, and right and wrong, and true and false, of course it can be hard to say whether

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