How to Write a Short Story, Get Published & Make Money by Christopher Fielden

Author:Christopher Fielden [Fielden, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-07-25T23:00:00+00:00

The End

Critique of ‘The Cat, the Bull and the Madman’ by Laurel House Creative Workshop

I received the following critique as part of the prize. It appears in this book with the kind permission of Lynda Nash.

The Cat, the Bull & the Madman – Chris Fielden

The Cat, the Bull & the Madman is a story about Brian’s escape from madness. I was hooked from the first line. The narrator’s voice is engaging and the reader is never sure if he is a reliable narrator or not. There are some lovely sections that conjure up strange images – such as: I’d been enjoying a magnificently surreal dream. I was in a kitchen, watching an impossibly fat cook basting human heads on a baking tray. The heads were all chatting amiably about the manner in which they’d been murdered. This very interesting dream gave an insight into the state of Brian’s subconscious and pulled me right into the story.

The section where Mr Pooch tries to wake Brian, though possibly a little too long, was believable and when Mr Pooch spoke it did not jolt me from the narrative. Later there is a very intense scene when the narrator encounters the bull and yet the language he uses to conjure him and dismiss him added humour, which made the story even more powerful. This really was compulsive reading by then.

Spotty’s dialogue brought him to life and made me feel angry and disgusted – he is not a sympathetic character. ‘Look, retard,’ says Spotty,‘ tell your mate with the udders to piss off...’ and ‘...Tell Mr Choo his uncle Bo said it was OK for us to take your money. You know his uncle, don’t you? Bo Vine?’ By this time, I was with the bull! I was hoping Brian would kill him!

Despite the fact that Brian is almost killed by the yobs, he is also triumphant in that he feels cured of the mad dependence on a Bull that compels him to kill. This is shown so well: ‘As I fall they kick and they stab; I do nothing but smile.’

After this it is revealed that Brian has been on a 10 year murdering spree and evaded police capture. Some of this I already knew from the story, which is a good thing, but because you are using a first person voice, it was a bit awkward that the narrator has to tell the audience the back story. It was also strange that you felt you had to tell us this when the story is more than halfway over. You take a long time to reveal exactly what he is prone to do at night – the demon he is trying to fight. Why does it have to be a mystery that he is a killer – or that he has got away with it? This could easily be dealt with earlier when Brian is talking to Mr Pooch about his need to confront the Bull.

I like that Mr Pooch is more help than

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