How to Remember by Cari Dubiel

Author:Cari Dubiel [Dubiel, Cari]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Indie Author Project
Published: 2020-12-11T00:00:00+00:00

31

Ben

Eleven Months Before

“Honey, it’s so great to see you.”

I stood in the lobby at Lilac Manor, embracing my mom. She’d come downstairs all on her own – I’d called her on her cell, and she answered, bright as day.

“It’s great to see you too.” I held her at arm’s length. “Want to go outside?”

She chuckled. “I think it’s a little cold for that, don’t you?”

A year ago, she might not have understood the question. Beyond the double lobby doors, snow fell lightly onto the black parking lot. It was Ohio, after all, and in the last week we’d had a few unseasonably warm days. But as December continued, getting closer to the holidays, I didn’t think we’d have many more of those.

“Activity room it is. Want some coffee? Tea or something?”

My mother rolled her eyes. “I had coffee already. And if I want some, I’ll ask the staff. Ben, you don’t have to wait on me.”

I didn’t think my heart would ever get used to the leaping it did every time I heard her say my name. “I’m trying to make sure you’re doing okay, Mom.”

We walked down the hall to the activity room. I took off my puffy coat and draped it across the flowered couch. Such a difference from that day in the middle of summer, when we’d been summoned from the castle to help her. Now her eyes were lit, active, and she sat up straight, her legs crossed. She even looked younger.

“Jasmine has been helping me dye my hair,” she said when I mentioned it. “She’s going to school for cosmetology. Just working here for extra money. I told her she should go into the sciences – she’d make even more money – but she says she likes making people feel pretty.” My mother shrugged. “I suppose it’s not for me to step on anyone’s dreams. I always tried to encourage you to do whatever inspired you.”

I thought of Miranda, who’d lately been grilling me on my career and what I was doing there. What I saw as my career path and whether I planned to move up. “You did, Mom,” I answered.

“So. Are you doing what inspires you?” She leaned forward.

“Yeah. Mostly.”

“You’re still working at Shore?”

I couldn’t believe she remembered that. “Yes, Mom.”

“The same job? You haven’t been promoted?” Now she sounded like Miranda.

I said as much, and she laughed. “I have been spending a lot of time with her.”

The treatments worked. I’d known it for months, but today I was certain. There was no wandering behind her eyes. My mother had fully formed back into the person I knew.

A small tiny knot began to work in my stomach.

“Mom, are you happy here?”

She looked at the carpet. I wished again for something to do with my hands. They felt so free, searching for something to do. Longed to be holding a beer, to calm my nerves.

“To be truthful, Ben, I don’t really know why I’m here.”

Just then, I did wish Miranda was there with me. She would have been able to explain it so much more easily.

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