Hello My Name Is by Matthew West

Author:Matthew West
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Worthy Publishing
Published: 2017-07-14T16:00:00+00:00

HELLO, MY NAME IS “INSECURE”

If I’m being honest, I’ve felt this deep need for approval and affirmation for as long as I can remember. I wonder if that started back on the playground when my eyes were opened to see that from someone else’s opinion, that false eyewitness, I was in some way flawed. From my childhood to this very day, moments of insecurity have at times paralyzed me.

Why did I vote for myself for homecoming king? Why did it matter? Why did it feel so good to win? Why did I need the popularity? Why have I craved the applause of people all these years? Why am I writing this book? Why do I hope you like it? Why do I need you to like it? Why am I afraid you won’t?

Sometimes insecurity will hit me just before I walk on stage for a concert. All of a sudden I will be convinced that I’m not wearing the right shirt. So I’ll hurry and try on another. Then another, and another. By this point, I am feeling fully flustered and stressed out over a stupid shirt, my mind a million miles away from focusing on what matters—the chance to minister to people through song. My wife is usually with me on the tour bus before I walk on stage, and I thank God for her. I’ll ask her over and over again, “Should I wear this? Or this? Or this?” Finally, she will calm me down and say, “Matthew, you look great. And those six shirts you just tried on are all the same color anyway. It doesn’t matter.”

Reading what I just wrote, I’m afraid you might be thinking, Wow, this guy’s got issues! But I guess that’s part of what this book is about, putting myself out there. Because here’s the thing . . . As much as I hope you won’t settle for the name “Insecure,” I don’t want to feel that insecurity anymore either. I don’t want to let it maintain its grip on my mind. I don’t want it to matter whether or not I receive a crowd’s applause. I don’t think God wants that for me either. In fact, I know that’s not his will for me. “My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith” (James 2:1 MSG).

I want to write music, sing songs, write books, and live my life free from the opinions of other people once and for all. I love the children’s story The Velveteen Rabbit. There is a conversation between the horse and the rabbit, two stuffed animals, about what it’s like to be real. The horse is educating the rabbit, saying, “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

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