Happily by Kevin A. Thompson

Author:Kevin A. Thompson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity;REL012050;FAM030000
ISBN: 9781493415205
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2018-07-23T16:00:00+00:00

A Desire That Drives

I have a friend who is an amazing musician. When people want to record, he is the first they call to play guitar. When someone has an event with music, his band is the main draw. Every Sunday he’s one of the first in the church building, volunteering his time by playing music. It’s not unusual after church or after a gig for people to come up to my friend and say, “Man, I wish I could play the guitar like that.” If he doesn’t know them, he smiles and thanks them. But if he knows them well enough to be truthful and funny, he says, “No you don’t. If you really did, you would go home and practice. If you really wanted it, years ago while in school you wouldn’t have gone to the party on Saturday night; you would’ve stayed home and practiced your guitar like I did. If you truly desired to play the guitar well, you would have sacrificed hours upon hours to perfect the skill. It’s nice to say, but you don’t really want to play guitar like this because it takes far more time than you are willing to give.”

Making our marriage about more than just us is not only a mental desire that pops into our head on occasion. It is a desire that drives action. It’s a hope that motivates and influences everything we do. It’s a perspective from which everything is viewed.

This begins individually. I can’t make my spouse desire something beyond herself, and I have very little time to try. I must focus on my own attitudes, decisions, and actions.

It continues corporately if my spouse joins me in the belief that marriage is bigger than the two of us. If she chooses not to believe that, then I continue to live out my vows and trust that God will use our relationship to transform my heart. If she joins me in that perspective, then I thank God for her mindset and we work together to pursue righteousness.

We start with the heart. As we each focus on our own hearts, we also guard the heart of our marriage. We learn to love what God loves. We purge our hearts of desires that do not match his. We recognize our responsibility to have a heart for one another and the things of God. We are quick to act if our hearts begin to falter. We invest in our hearts, knowing they are moldable and can have their affections influenced.

We continue with the mind. We understand there are many lies we tell ourselves and each other. We attempt to learn the truth and live the truth. We hold one another accountable and speak honestly into each other’s lives. We lean on the wisdom and experience of others to mentor and train us. We take what we have learned and attempt to help others.

We focus on our souls. We recognize there is more to life than what we see. We know our marriage is under attack from both outside forces and internal temptations.

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