Handle With Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry by Lore Ferguson Wilbert

Author:Lore Ferguson Wilbert [Wilbert, Lore Ferguson]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Religion, Christian Life, Women's Issues, Social Issues, Family
ISBN: 9781535962339
Google: j-3JDwAAQBAJ
Amazon: 153596233X
Publisher: B&H Books
Published: 2020-02-03T23:00:00+00:00

Let the Light Reign

In a conversation about this book, William Jensen (my literary agent and friend) said one of the more profound statements I’ve heard and one which has always been in my mind since: “We want our souls to mingle, but our bodies keep getting in the way.” He’s profoundly right, but what if we stopped thinking of our bodies as something in the way? What if we stopped thinking of the body God created as our main obstacle to intimacy with others or even the only means to intimacy? If we did, we could begin broadening our concepts of healthy intimacy to the inclusion of our bodies and others’ bodies in non-sexual ways.

Whether you are single or married, if you are a child of God, you are loved much. Go and love the singles in your life much. Ask them if they are receiving healthy physical touch from anyone in their lives. Don’t ever assume an unmarried person is being touched in appropriate ways somewhere else in their lives. It is more likely that they have been touched or are touching inappropriately in dating relationships or friendships, or they are using self-touch to pacify their deep need for physical touch. It is rare to find an unmarried person who isn’t using one or both of these mechanisms to offer themselves solace. When we assume wrongly that they’re being touched healthily in other places, we press them further back into sinful expressions of touch.

If they’re not receiving healthy touch, and your intentions for them are pure, ask them if you can hug them. Sit near them at church and, if it’s appropriate, lend your shoulder to be leaned upon. Lay your hands on them in prayer. Hug them well when you see them. Did you know it takes eight seconds of hugging for endorphins to be released in our bodies? For an unmarried person who is rarely being touched, those endorphins might be the only ones released through touch for them that day.

I often ask my close friends who are unmarried, “When was the last time you were hugged?” And then I hug them, male and female, tightly and indiscriminately. Sometimes it’s the only touch they get all week. One of the many single guys in our small group from church who meets in our home each week says often, “One of my favorite parts of home-group is knowing I’m going to give and get so many hugs all evening. It’s the most touch I get all week.” He works in a Christian environment, surrounded by Christians all week, and yet the only physical touch he ever experiences is within two hours, one night a week. This shouldn’t be.

When you stand across from an unmarried person, remember: you’re called to be faithful to the Lord and to care for the person in front of you, not the outcome or narrative you want told about you. Your aim should be Christlikeness, and Christ gave touch in loving and appropriate ways, and He received it likewise.

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