Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Gary D. Chapman

Author:Gary D. Chapman [Chapman, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-8024-7961-7
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2009-08-30T04:00:00+00:00

Margo’s Discovery: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions

There are other ways to discover a person’s primary love language. One of the most compelling ways is to ask questions. If you wish to know what is going on inside the mind of someone else, then ask questions. The questions must be well chosen and must be expressions of genuine desire for information.

For example, Margo said to her mother, “Mom, I’ve been thinking about it, and this year on my birthday, I would like to do something special for you to express my appreciation to you for giving me life. I want you to think about it, and next week I want you to tell me what you would like for me to do.”

“Honey, you don’t need to do anything for me. I know you appreciate me.”

“Well, I hope so, thanks for saying that,” said Margo, “but I want to do something special for you, so think about it.”

The next week when Margo dropped by to see her mother, she found her working in the flowers. Her mother finished what she was doing, washed her hands with the hose, and said, “I’ve got some fresh lemonade inside.” As they walked into the house, Margo commented on how beautiful her mother’s garden was.

“It’s rained a lot this summer,” her mother said.

As they drank their lemonade, Margo asked her mother, “Have you thought about what I asked you last week about my birthday?”

“Yes, I’ve thought about it,” her mother said.

“Well, what would you like me to do?” Margo was not prepared for what her mother said.

“This may be asking too much, but if you really want to do something that would make me happy, I would like for us to spend an entire day together, from early in the morning to late at night. We can go shopping. We can take a walk in the park like we used to when you were a little girl. We can go out to have lunch, or we can just sit around the house all day. I don’t care what we do. I’d just like to spend a whole day with you again like we did when you were growing up. It doesn’t have to be on your birthday. It can be before or after.”

Margo responded with a question mark in her voice. “Well, Mom, I’d be glad to do that. But are you sure that’s really what you want?”

“I’m sure,” her mother said. “I can’t think of anything I would enjoy more than spending a day with you.”

If Margo’s intent was to figure out her mother’s primary love language, she has made her discovery. Loudly and clearly her mother has spoken, “Quality time is my love language.” And she learned simply by asking her mother what gift she’d like most.

Later, Margo reflected on their conversation. She realized that since she had moved back to town after graduating from college, she had spent only snippets of time with her mother. She checked in almost every week, but normally it was only a fifteen- to thirty-minute visit.

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