Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia by John Dunlop

Author:John Dunlop
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL050000/REL012030/HEA039140
Publisher: Crossway
Published: 2017-07-30T16:00:00+00:00

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Respect the Dignity of Those with Dementia

I always looked forward to Jered’s appointments at the clinic. Married for sixty-three years, Jered and Jane were deeply in love with each other. Jered suffered from moderately severe dementia, yet he was always pleasant, smiling and congenial. It was beautiful watching the way Jane related to him. When I came into the exam room, she’d be holding his hand and humming a tune while Jered smiled. When I asked him a question, he would nod to Jane, and she would always answer in the plural, not just speaking for herself. He always felt that he was part of the conversation and had some level of input about decisions. In the context of his dementia, Jane clearly respected his God-given dignity. She knew that he was made in the image of God, and she respected him.

Respecting the dignity of a patient with dementia is consistent with biblical values, and it vastly improves the quality of their lives as they deal with this devastating condition. Recently I gave a talk on dementia to a group of seniors. One dear woman sitting in the front row quietly started to cry. I was grateful when she came up to talk at the conclusion of the session. She told me how her husband had recently passed away after several years of dementia. She had never thought about his having dignity through the course of his disease and acknowledged that she had viewed him as a nonperson, a body without a mind. She concluded, “I guess it would have been so much better for both of us had I recognized the dignity of the person he still was.”

When we try to respect the dignity of someone with dementia, there are no rules, no cookbook approaches, and every stage of an individual’s dementia presents unique challenges to manage. As Christians we must depend on God by his Spirit to help us show respect for our loved ones who have dementia. Still, there are some helpful guidelines we can follow.

Learn from Jesus

We have no record of Jesus interacting with someone afflicted with dementia. Nevertheless, we can learn a lot from him, for he was (and still is!) the great physician who “went about doing good and healing” (Acts 10:38). Jesus dealt with all kinds of physical, mental, and spiritual infirmities. He viewed each individual with compassion, no doubt feeling the tragedy of their disease. Jesus took time with people, spoke to them directly, asked questions, touched them, and selflessly gave of himself. He showed them respect and never blamed them for the afflictions they brought to him. Jesus served even when he was hungry and did not have time to eat. Even physical exhaustion and lack of sleep did not deter him from reaching out to those in need. Jesus helped all kinds of people, from those respected by society to the down and out, from the educated to the unlearned, from the righteous to those trapped in sin. This he

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