Fifth Born by Zelda Lockhart

Author:Zelda Lockhart
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2002-12-08T16:00:00+00:00

15

Birthmark

The next winter Mama went to the hospital because she kept having tummy pains months after Baby Jessie was born. The doctor said she had to have gallstones removed.

While she was in the hospital, LaVern stayed at Aint Fanny's house, and Towanda had to stay late after school every day for band practice, so I had to do the shopping at the Big G Market, which was a few blocks past Aint Fanny's house in the nicer black neighborhood.

Deddy said, "You don't need a ride. A walk ain't gone hurt you none, might make you grow some muscles since you ain't growin nothin else."

I hated that Mama wasn't around to listen to Deddy talk because it meant Deddy was talking to me, and paying more attention to me than I wanted. He constantly said stuff about my body or how my hair looked, until I rolled myeyes; then he raised the back of his hand to me to make me flinch.

I tried to wear my clothes as baggy as I could. When Deddy looked at me, I could feel the space between my legs clench. He said, grinning at me, Im just kiddin with you, Dessa, Ill give you a ride to the store, but I ignored him because I knew that it was bait for him to later say, I changed my mind, you can walk to the store.

Besides, I wouldnt have gotten into a car with him, but I listened to his offer and just said, No, sir, I can walk. I walked ten blocks through the dirty snow every other day, and the sound of Deddys ridiculing laughter spurred me on. I came home with pork chops, or chicken wings, or milk. Some days I let the snow seep into my boots to cool me off.

With Mama gone, Deddy didnt change his routine at all except he woke up every morning and expected me to have his breakfast on the table. I had to make breakfast for everybody, and all Lamont and Roscoe had to do was take turns putting out the trash, and Towanda was smart enough to leave every morning at six oclock.

Despite all of her grown-up knowledge, Towanda misunderstood what was happening to me. Im glad you learned how to stand up for yourself, Odessa. I dont think you bein bad, I think you giving Mama and Deddy a run for their money, and they cant stand it. You the only one around here, besides me, who can see stuff for what it is. She slammed out the back door to catch the bus, and left me to make Deddys coffee.

After breakfast was out of the way, Deddy made it a point to announce to me, You aint learnin shit up at that school that you caint learn here changing diapers. Then he laughed, as high-pitched as he could, to get me to cry or complain, but Iknew better, I knew that if I did, hed just carry on longer. So I said, Yes, sir, under my breath to everything he said, my face hot with anger.

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