Every Day I'm Hustling by Vivica A. Fox

Author:Vivica A. Fox
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

LESSON TEN

THE DEVIL IS FINE, AND THAT’S HOW HE GETS YOU

For years, I took the high road with him. In my own twisted way, I was being true to the man I knew Curtis wanted to be.

I actually had no intention of even mentioning his name here. When I talked about this book with the publisher, he didn’t even come up. I guess I was afraid that if I mentioned him, he would take credit for this, too. He’d say I sold a book on his name. Yet when Curtis has been on TV, in his 50 Cent role, he has made up stories about me and repeated them and got a reaction.

I see the comments his followers leave on my Instagram sometimes. I admit I can’t help but click their profiles, and they’re usually about sixteen with as many followers. Little boys who probably got their feelings hurt by a girl.

I keep getting dragged on back like it’s Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doomed Love. Well then, let me put on my archaeologist hat and go back in to end this foolishness once and for all so we can all move on. Because there might be a lesson in there for you. I know there was one for me.

*   *   *

“Who’s 50 Cent?”

It was early 2003, and I was sitting with one of my girlfriends, KimStacy Carter. Kim was reading a magazine, and had just told me, “You should date this guy 50 Cent.”

She turned the magazine my way to show me the review of his Get Rich or Die Tryin’. The album cover had him shirtless, wearing a Louis Vuitton–patterned gun holster.

“He’s hot,” she said.

“Enhh, why’s he got all that grease on him?” I asked.

“To show all those muscles.”

“Not my type,” I said.

His song “In da Club” was everywhere, so I kept hearing his name. But I swear he wasn’t on my radar at all that spring. In June I was invited to the BET Awards, and I wore a short purple dress with a low cut and coral accents. I had my Kill Bill body and I wanted to show it off.

The photographers kept asking me for more photos on the carpet—just saying—so by the time I got into the theater the show was beginning. And there was that 50 Cent guy onstage, opening the show. I’d brought my makeup artist friend Tysula, and we were kind of cutting through the audience to get to our seats. As a fellow performer, I worried that this appeared rude. So I turned my head to look at him directly as I sidled to my seat.

And he stopped. It was this moment where he just got stuck. His boy onstage had to tap him, like, “Come on.” And he went right back into the performance. Tysula and I sat down to watch him.

But it felt like he was watching me.

“Does it feel like he’s looking at me?” I murmured to Tysula through a closed smile.

“Um, yeah,” she said.

Later, when he went back onstage to accept the Best New Artist award, he leaned on the podium and looked right at me.

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