Engaging Your Teen's World by David Eaton

Author:David Eaton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Parenting;Parent and teenager—Religious aspects—Christianity;Teenagers—Religious life;Teenagers—Psychology;REL012030
ISBN: 9781493425273
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2020-06-24T00:00:00+00:00

Milestones on the “Smartphone Ed” Journey

Goal: Focus on their heart with a view on righteousness.

Practice: Start with the end in mind.

Always start with your teen’s heart in mind and zoom out with the end of the journey in sight. Your goal is to mentor your child so that his or her heart loves righteousness. This goes so much deeper than behavior management. You want your child to be able to use a phone with wisdom and joy, and without your oversight. You want your teenager to be independent and able to self-regulate.

Goal: Journey toward ownership.

Practice: Stewardship through leasing.

If God owns everything, He owns all phones. As a parent, you are responsible to God as the ultimate steward of your child’s phone. A great way to help steward your children’s hearts and phones is by making a family contract that they sign in order to “lease” their phones from you. There are many great contracts online that you can use for inspiration. Also, consider having your child contribute financially to the costs involved with the phone.

Goal: Easing into privacy.

Practice: Accountability in community.

We are better in community than in isolation. We recommend that you have access to the phone at any time and have access to all login information and settings. This sounds harsh, but your child does not have a right to phone privacy. Explain that privacy is earned through demonstrating integrity, and that even adults often relinquish this right to others in order to steer clear of temptation or misuse of their phones. Make sure you are modeling community to your kids.

If things escalate and you must take your teen’s phone away, always remember that to the next generation, a phone is an extension of their identity. Ironically, teens run to others through their phone for comfort. Teens who once simply had to choose their parents as their source of comfort when they were stressed, anxious, or sad can now turn to acquaintances or “friends” all over the world to comfort them or spray random advice at them.5 When you take their phone away, you are literally taking away part of who they are and their access to community. Never take it away lightly, and when you do, clearly explain what needs to happen before you to give it back.

Goal: Giving incremental responsibility.

Practice: Increase freedom slowly.

Phones are amazing and can accomplish thousands of functions. Upon first leasing your children a phone, we recommend you severely limit the phone’s functionality. Be warned, this may be a point of contention, but it’s a great opportunity to refer to the contract you had them sign. Remind them that as they learn to wisely use their phones, over time they will have fewer and fewer restrictions. There are great time-limiting apps for Apple, iOS, and Android devices (Screen Time and Google Family Line, for example) and filters you can add around almost anything. Many of these tools are great for limiting your own screen time too.

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