Downsizing the Blended Home by Marni Jameson

Author:Marni Jameson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sterling
Published: 2019-12-02T16:00:00+00:00

DECORATING ACROSS THE GENDER DIVIDE

Those who live alone often celebrate that by making their homes all about them and their status—single! A woman’s place becomes a feminine chick nest, while a bachelor may create a masculine man pad. When these individuals start to blend, however, her floral sofa with lace pillows makes him cringe, and she recoils at the thought of his black-lacquer bar.

“Don’t knock the other person’s taste,” said Dr. Jeannette Lofas, founder of the Stepfamily Foundation. “In blended homes, we need to respect the differences of every member. If she likes flowers and he likes leather, creatively incorporate the male and female. Get leather sofas and use a floral fabric on the draperies.”

A blend in the master bedroom is especially important. If her bedroom is pink and purple, and his is burgundy and tan, a new gender-neutral color scheme is in order, designer Christopher Grubb explained. “Blue is a perfect color for a couple’s master bedroom because it’s male enough, still pretty, universally appealing, and restful.”

A contractor who specializes in old house renovations, Sheila Ratliff had created a feminine haven all her own. “I had a great bungalow,” she said of the 2,000-square-foot (186 sq m) home she had decorated with lots of antiques, pottery, and funky glass art. “I got to design it exactly how I wanted. That house was all about me and I loved it.”

But she let that go when she remodeled the new home she would share with her second husband. “I was very careful to make sure Victor felt comfortable in this house. I had done a number of houses. I wanted to do this one for him.”

Sheila had been single for twenty-eight years. Then she and Victor Ratliff renewed an old relationship. The two had dated briefly back in the 1980s, when they both worked for the same ad agency. Sheila was a divorced single mom of one son, and Victor was playing the field. He would marry twice before settling down with Sheila. They reconnected in 2004, bought a 2,300-square-foot (214 sq m), mid-century house in 2005, spent a year renovating it, and got married in the home—literally as the paint was drying—in 2006.

Before selling her bungalow, however, Sheila had a huge estate sale, and got rid of more than half of her furnishings and almost all the antiques (“except for those that were like family,” she said), because she couldn’t see them moving forward in her new life. She then worked to incorporate Victor’s traditional “bachelor condo” furniture and sensibilities into their together home, starting by using a brown, beige, and greige color palette.

“I always felt very clear that our home had to be an equal amount of his and mine,” she said.

Though she left her beloved bungalow, “I was very happy to sell that and move into this house and this situation,” she said. Today, she and Victor, both in their seventies, call their home a fair mix of them both.

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