Don't Get Caught with Your Skirt Down by Jill Keto & Daniel Keto

Author:Jill Keto & Daniel Keto
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2008-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

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Recessions can bring new meaning to the concept of “ugly divorce.” The most substantial marital asset is usually a home, and dividing a home equitably is very tricky these days. When more is owed on a home than it’s worth, the threat of foreclosure looms large on the man or woman left holding the “asset” (really debt).

A Texas mother of two was recently interviewed by Forbes magazine. Her husband had walked out on her, leaving her with an unaffordable mortgage payment that her job at a preschool simply could not support. She ended up negotiating a short sale of the home with the bank, and eventually moved to a rented apartment.

In recent years, talk of divorce included the rundown on how to divvy up assets. Now the talk inclines more to how the losses are split up, who is responsible for the credit card debt, and who will be paying off the mortgage.

THE SECRET OF A LASTING MARRIAGE

According to Dr. Cheryl McClary, women’s health professor and author of The Commitment Chronicles: The Power of Staying Together, the key to a lasting marriage is for women to understand themselves and be emotionally whole. Women waste their time trying to change their men, because it’s impossible. We can change and control only ourselves—nobody else.

Once you focus on yourself, find true love for yourself, and shift your focus away from your husband, amazing things will start to happen in your relationship. The whole dynamic can begin to shift, because you’ve placed yourself in a leadership position, instead of that of a follower. To help yourself and to love yourself are the simple keys.

This philosophy fits very well into the theme of the book you’re reading: how women can control their destinies, financially and otherwise.

DO NOT ALLOW ANOTHER WOMAN TO STEAL YOUR MAN

During a weak economy, expect that your man will be hit on by other women with alarming frequency. The vultures will be hungry and looking for a meal ticket from any man with a pulse and a steady income. Suddenly, the things you find annoying, like his beer gut and ball-scratching habit, will be labeled “cute” by some floozy on the hunt. Think that his wedding ring will deter this type of attention? Most of my married male friends claim that, ironically, they get hit on more while wearing it. To the vultures, his wedding ring doesn’t say, “I’m married, stay away.” It says, “I’m stable, not afraid of commitment, and probably not a crack addict.”

A man with a stressful job, a busy schedule, and no free time might look at an affair almost as a vacation—a welcome relief from the everyday. Chances are, he’s looking to have some fun, not to intentionally hurt you. So try to keep this in perspective.

Technology has added an extra element to affairs because people can literally chat all day long. This makes the woman with whom he’s having the affair accessible around the clock, at least on the emotional/flirtation level. Again, this provides

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