Dear, Carson McDermott (The Dear letters Series Book 1) by King Ellie

Author:King Ellie [Ellie, King]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-12-09T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

Katerina

I was glad we got to talking or should I call it an argument? Carson was so hurt, and I saw his pain so visibly, much more than I had ever seen. I shouldn’t have left; I knew this now and I felt like it was time I made it right. I should’ve talked to him about it all, yet I think deep down inside I was afraid. I was terrified that he would reject me and tell me exactly what my mind was conjuring up but now, as I sat here in the living room by myself, I knew that was wrong. This was what I always said I would never do. I said I would never leave him nor doubt him, but I did.

I sighed as I picked up my cell and dialed my mother. She picked up on the third ring,

“Mama?”

“You okay? Munchkin, what’s wrong? Do you need me to get on the next flight?”

This made me smile yet sad because I alienated them all. The people who loved me and I knew it was wrong, but I was ashamed. I was lost and hurting.

“No, you don’t need to do that. I just, I wanted to talk to you. I know that I may not be your best friend anymore, but I still consider you mine. I-,” I was cut off by her.

“You are my best friend Katerina. That will never change no matter what. I want you to remember that. Now, talk to me. I have all the time in the world, I wasn’t there for you for seven years and I don’t want to ever do that again. I want to always be there for you, please let me.”

My mother’s tone made me wish she was in front of me so I could hug her for a long time.

“I love you mom,” I said to her.

“I love you too, my munchkin,” She replied, and I knew wherever she was sitting, she was smiling.

I took a deep breath,

“I messed up mama. Like really bad. I was thrown in a very awful situation. One that caused me excruciating pain. The kind of pain I wouldn’t ever wish on my worst enemy and you know what hurts, is that I let go of the only person I had left that made sense to me in this cruel world. I was drowning in sorrows not just for myself but for Carson as well. I wanted to take on more than I could bear. I wanted to take his pain along with mine but in doing so, I didn’t give him the comfort he needed. I let him think that I didn’t want him anymore, mommy. I drove him away because I thought he didn’t want me. I read his good and selfless deeds as warnings to go. To just get away from him,”

I shouldn’t have but I sobbed this time. Speaking it out loud made things so much worse.

“Seven years, ma! I left him all alone for seven years.

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