Dead Now of Course by Phyllida Law

Author:Phyllida Law
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2017-04-18T04:00:00+00:00

Alec Guinness liked the odd visit to his dressing room, to say hello, of an evening. Just to catch

up on everything. One night, calling before the half, I found him in his towelling dressing-gown, socks and slippers, smoking a cigar and talking on the phone.

‘That’s wonderful news, Ralph,’ he said, as he waved me to stay. ‘Give her our love, do, I’m so glad you rang. It’s wonderful news. I’ll spread it. Brilliant. Brilliant. Thank you for ringing, Ralph. Wonderful news.’ He put the phone down.

It was his wife, Lady Mu, who had been very seriously ill with a hysterectomy. The priest had come round to give her the last rites. She told him to ‘Fuck off.’

Years later we were all playing in John Mortimer’s A Voyage Round My Father when Alec went to Fortnum & Mason to buy his matinee tea, smoked salmon on brown.

The gentleman who served him said, ‘Hello, sir. Haven’t seen you for years. What are you doing these days?’

And Alec said, ‘I’m at the Haymarket.’

And the chap said, ‘Oh, very good. My brother has a fish stall there.’

They used to bring tea to the audience in the matinee interval at the Haymarket. A proper tea, on a tray, proper teapots, jugs, little bowls of lump sugar and a slab of very black fruit cake. It was served by harassed wee ladies in Lyons Corner House outfits, with those things on their heads that made them look quite unhinged. When the interval ended, the curtain would rise, and the first few minutes of the second half would be accompanied by the clatter of china and cutlery as anxious little ladies would try to get your tray from the middle of the row. Insane, really.

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