Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans

Author:Dave Eggers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9781400043316
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2004-08-09T16:00:00+00:00

Still, steroids and conditioning only get you so far. As any sports fan knows, a lot depends on how well you play as a team and what you’re willing to give after tip-off. After years of what they considered judicial overstepping by the Warren Court, conservative justices had high hopes for Warren Burger’s boys. But when the games were on the line, the conservatives in the Burger Court just didn’t want it as much.

Of course, they weren’t helped by the fact that Burger was the worst player of all time. He was as bad as Ben Cardozo, but Cardozo could at least make free throws. Once, after Burger missed his eighth consecutive shot from the line, White gave him a withering look and said, “Thank you, Nixon.”

Blackmun, though he had flashes of brilliance, was too often timid. White, of course, was still a formidable athlete when Kennedy appointed him, but he had lost a lot by the 1970s, even if he refused to admit it. (Marshall and Brennan constantly bickered over who got to guard him.)

The liberal holdovers from the Warren Court liked to torment the more conservative newcomers just to show who was boss. One example stands out in particular: It was said that Marshall, cantankerous in his final years, enjoyed taunting Scalia by mocking his fondness for hypothetical questions during oral argument. During one-on-one games that they played strictly for pride, every possession became an opportunity for Marshall to humiliate him: “What if one justice were to back in slowly—like this, say—dribbling the ball methodically, while his fellow justice stood there powerless to stop him? And what if the first justice then dunked over him, like ... this?”

As for scouting reports on the current nine:

Chief Justice William Rehnquist: Bad back, hates to reach low for balls. Tends to turn it over if you force him to go to his left. Still, no one is able to see the whole court better. Opponents often think he’s not even paying attention, and suddenly he’s stolen the ball from them.

David Souter: Finesse player; doesn’t like to bang. Moves well without the ball; it’s almost impossible to keep track of him. Drives defenders nuts and wears them out.

John Paul Stevens: Often wants to switch teams halfway through the game; it’s hard to count on him in the late minutes.

Anthony Kennedy: Nondescript and workmanlike out there, but within the first week on the Court, he had memorized the dead spots on the floor and began forcing dribblers into them.

Sandra Day O’Connor: Got pushed around at first, but now uses her speed, and elbows. Runs the point well.

Antonin Scalia: Real trash talker. Constantly comparing himself to Warren, Black, and the other “maestros.” Even the refs hate him.

Clarence Thomas: Was held in disdain by the other justices until his first game, when he let loose an eye-popping barrage of three-pointers. (The “Natural Law Fury from Above,” as he called it.)

Ruth Bader Ginsburg: One of the best passers ever. Hooks up with Breyer in no-look alley-oops.

Stephen Breyer: Well-liked because he refuses to play dirty, even after taking cheap shots.

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