Courage In Magic by KJ Warawa

Author:KJ Warawa [Warawa, KJ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Purple Turtle Press

17

Rowena exited the bathroom after getting ready for the night and wondered how she was going to get through to Connor. He was already in bed with his arms crossed over his bare chest, his eyes closed, and Doyle was curled up on a rug at the end of the bed.

Connor had been withdrawing since he came out of the hypnosis. He hadn’t wanted to talk about what they’d learned, saying he needed time to process. That was a normal response and Rowena gave him space, but he’d barely spoken when they’d had dinner and later cuddled on the couch.

With anyone else, she might have thought she’d done something wrong. But with Connor, she knew he wasn’t pushing her away as much as he was clamming up out of self-loathing. She needed to get through to him. Although Connor wasn’t like her teenage patient that she had just lost, she still wanted to save him from himself. Every person she helped made her life a little bit better to knowing she’d saved another family from feeling the loss of a loved one. Losing Connor would be so much worse than failing a patient, because he meant so much more to her.

She climbed in beside him and faced him, lying on her side. Placing her hand on his stomach, she rubbed slowly, hoping to give him some comfort. “Talk to me please, Connor.”

He looked down at her. “What is there to say? Nothing’s changed. I’m still the reason Julia died. It just didn’t happen the way I’d always thought it had.” He didn’t sound angry when he spoke, just sad.

Rowena propped herself on her elbow to get a better look at him while she kept soothing his skin. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Connor’s eyes held a look of resignation. “It is true. Did you not hear what I said? You saw what happened that day.”

“I did.” She weighed her next words carefully. He was hurting and vulnerable and trying so hard to lay all the blame on himself. “Drew started the fire and stopped you from getting help.”

Connor sat up, knocking her hand off with his movement, and leaned back against the headboard, but she didn’t think he was rejecting her. Self-loathing clung to him like a blanket. “I didn’t stop him. I huddled in a ball with the girls. I didn’t stop Drew.”

“How could you have? You would have left Julia and Sarah vulnerable.”

“I fucking did that anyway, didn’t I? I’m still the reason Julia died because I didn’t protect her. I had one job to do that afternoon—keep those two little girls safe—and I failed.”

The more Connor raised his voice, the softer she kept hers. There was a physical ache in her heart for what he was going through. “Whatever happened to Sarah? When we went over everything with Joel, I forgot to ask.”

Connor looked down at his hands in his lap. “Her family moved away after the fire. My dad may know where they went, but I didn’t ask.

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