Coaching for the Love of the Game by Jennifer L. Etnier

Author:Jennifer L. Etnier
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The University of North Carolina Press
Published: 2020-06-08T16:00:00+00:00

COMMUNICATION STYLES

Some evidence indicates that there are differences in preferred communication styles between men and women. You might have seen the popular book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. This book tells us there are observable differences in communication styles between men and women. However, there is no evidence with respect to communication style preferences between boys and girls or specific to communication within sports experiences. Although future evidence may show that communication preferences for children are not the same as for adults, our only choice at this point is to consider what we know for adults as one way of possibly informing our coaching of youth athletes.

Before discussing these sex-related differences, it is important to point out that criticism can be delivered in two forms. Destructive criticism is critical feedback that goes so far as to diminish the recipient’s self-esteem or pride. By contrast, constructive criticism is carefully worded so that feedback is critical but includes solutions or ways to improve. As you might surmise, there are no sex-linked differences in how people receive destructive criticism—no one wants to be criticized in ways that are purposefully hurtful. However, for constructive criticism, we do see sex-related preferences for how this is delivered. For adults, women tend to prefer that constructive criticism is provided in private rather than in front of others. By contrast, men tend to be motivated by constructive criticism and are less concerned with the setting in which that criticism is provided. You’ll notice that in both of these statements, I use the word “tend.” This is purposeful and is meant to convey that this will not necessarily be true for all of your athletes but is a tendency across the gender group. As such, it will be important for you to figure out quickly which athletes are comfortable with and motivated by criticism being given publicly. It will be equally important to identify those athletes whom you need to pull aside to offer the constructive criticism more privately. If you can figure this out, you will be able to judiciously provide feedback in ways that best match the preferences of your individual athletes.

It is also true that women are more hesitant to offer constructive criticism to one another. You might notice on your team that it is challenging to get the female athletes to offer feedback to one another and that the feedback, when offered, is not well received. If you are coaching boys or girls and you want them to offer constructive feedback to one another, you must give them guidance about what this means, when it is appropriate to offer feedback, what kinds of feedback are acceptable, and how to receive that feedback. Importantly, men are quicker to offer constructive criticism, which may have a negative effect on team cohesion if it is not properly perceived by other athletes. As the coach, it is essential that you make clear your expectations for how critical feedback should be offered and received by the team.

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