Clawing Free by Josh Roberts

Author:Josh Roberts [Roberts, Josh]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Josh Roberts

As she walked, Lissy considered what to do next. While she still feared being alone, she didn’t know if she wanted Neil around after what he’d just said to her, or if he would even try to come back. Maybe he’d really meant it. Or maybe he was just hurting, lashing out from a place of immeasurable pain.

After several minutes of walking, it occurred to her how unfair she was being, viewing herself as the victim in all of this. He wasn’t wrong. He’d been in love with her for years, and she’d knowingly sidelined him. Her defense mechanism had no doubt been a constant source of pain for him. She guessed she’d always, at some level, assumed he would be there, waiting for her when she was finally ready to tear down the walls she’d erected between them. It had been her belief that if their relationship didn’t progress, it would be due to her continuous decision to keep him at arm’s length. Now that it was his choice, it brought to light how much she actually did care for him. Not to mention how much she relied on him to be a source of strength in her life.

His words played over and over in her mind. Even in the state he was in, she couldn’t believe he’d spoken to her so harshly. They had been through the loss of his parents and her sister, and he’d never even come close to saying something spiteful.

As she turned into the alley behind the market, after the hundredth time of recounting his words, it was as if she were struck by lightning, revelation flooding her. The Neil she’d known her entire life would never say something like that to her. No matter the circumstance. Something was off, and it wasn’t that he was angry with her.

She charged toward the apartment, hoping to find Neil already there. As she ran, thoughts blitzed her mind, a million fiery arrows bombarding her. Each thought gave a different form to the same question. What was Neil planning to do? It should have been blatantly obvious to her that he wasn’t pissed, not at her anyway. He’d simply used his words to dig at her, knowing she would leave him alone if he hurt her.

As she reached the market, she knew immediately he wasn’t there. His truck wasn’t in the alley. She continued running straight to her car. There was no question where he’d gone.

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