Can You Learn to Be Lucky? by Karla Starr

Author:Karla Starr
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-08-13T16:00:00+00:00

Leveling Up Requires the Resources to Get There

Life is largely random (you didn’t choose your parents, to start) but it’s actually in our best interest to overestimate how much we control, because believing that you can’t handle something is precisely what makes it stressful. Over time, stress degrades our health, relationships, ability to think, act, and reach our full potential. Stress is a threat to homeostasis, the perception that we don’t have enough resources to deal with whatever’s upcoming. Reframing hardships as opportunities to rise (rather than threats) is easier when we put a positive spin on our ability to handle things. Perceived social support, how frequently we experience positive emotions, and sensing a purpose in life make us feel like we have more resources to actively cope with stressors, adding “I got this” marbles to our scale.12

It’s key behind ideas like mental toughness, resilience, hardiness, and grit, all of which refer to our capacity to bounce back and keep moving forward to what we want.13

When our actions directly influence outcomes (studying for a test will reliably increase your grade), tokens of a so-called irrational mind like superstitions, good-luck charms, prayers, and other religious rituals actually improve performance by reducing anxiety and increasing confidence in our ability to accomplish whatever we set out to do. Believing that you are lucky or destined for great things can be maladaptive if you think that all you have to do is wait by the phone for a great job offer or start thinking that games of chance are the way to go. Believing that good things will happen to you becomes a positive, self-fulfilling prophecy only to the extent that it promotes motivation, a belief in your capacity to improve, and confidence during a performance.14

The underlying theme here is adopting an approach-oriented mind-set—using your strengths to address and conquer your weaknesses, rather than ignoring them. Think, “I got this. Why not me?” People with a high internal locus of control—who fully believe that they are masters of their destiny—have better life outcomes.15 While that positivity illusion known as the status quo bias protects our view of the present—that things are cool as is—the better way to be delusional is to be like Kanye West and believe that as long as we do everything in our power to make it happen, eventually, the future will belong to us.16

On January 26, 2013, the billionaire CEO of Twitter and Square, Jack Dorsey, tweeted, “Success is never accidental.” That’s the ultimate “I got this. This was meant to happen.” It’s easy to say that becoming a billionaire can give anyone a huge ego, but having an ego and being willing to put in the work to back it up are just as much causes for success as effects.17

Aiming higher than we think we’re capable of makes us anxious because of a perceived identity conflict between our current and our future selves, between “me” and “the person who knows how to do this sort of thing.” It’s easier

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