Breaking Addiction by Lance M. Dodes

Author:Lance M. Dodes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

THE IMPORTANCE OF ANTICIPATION

The cases above, involving irretrievable losses, are especially tough because there are no clear, practical actions that can repair or undo the losses. There was nothing Gil could do, for example, that would bring his girlfriend back. It is especially important in these situations, therefore, to recognize in advance when they might arise. Once you have become aware of the defenses you use, and the sorts of issues that produce helplessness traps for you, you can think about situations and events that may precipitate these traps, and what your response to them would be. Anticipating these events is easier when you consider that there are often hints well in advance that they are coming.

Gil and his girlfriend, for example, had been fighting a long time—about his heroin use and other problems. He could not have been wholly blindsided by a breakup. If he had recognized his deep-seated sensitivity to being left—that this kind of loss was overwhelming for him, and was linked to his addiction—he could have anticipated his intense urge to use heroin. The anticipation itself would have provided some protection against his compulsion to use the drug.

Mary likewise could have recognized that feelings of being unloved and unlovable were overwhelming for her. With this in mind—and knowing that she suffered with alcoholism—she could have thought ahead to the possibility of a breakup with Chad, and the risk this posed for her drinking. If she had sat down and imagined how a breakup would feel, identifying it as the kind of event that usually precipitated her addiction, she would have been far less likely to drink.

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