Bonding with Your Teen through Boundaries by June Hunt

Author:June Hunt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Crossway
Published: 2010-08-10T00:00:00+00:00

• If he attempts to stand close enough to her to whisper (for example), does she let him stay there, or does she back away?

• Does she linger to talk to him, or does she turn her back to him and talk to someone else?

• Does she initiate conversation with him?

• Does she write him notes?

• Does she touch him?

If all these are green lights, he can assume she enjoys his company, and he can continue down this road within appropriate boundaries.

Part of your job as a parent is to make sure he understands that he is not to proceed automatically through any intersections that lead to more personal territory. Remind him that lights can change from green to red, and he must stop when they do. If he is mature enough, he can ask her why, but he should know that persistence in trying to change matters can lead to charges of harassment. However, if he has been watchful at the intersections, he will have seen a caution sign warning of a road closure ahead.

If you discover that your son has been harassing a girl just for the sake of harassment, then you can enact repercussions on him because such behavior is indefensible. Lecture all you want about respect for others and how his behavior reflects on you, but be aware of the other factors at work, specifically his friends. This kind of behavior usually happens for the benefit of an “audience.” So when you are questioning him, be sure to ask who else heard it and who else participated. If you hear the same name(s) cropping up again and again when your son has been in trouble, you know you’re contending with a group problem. You may try to break up the pack by:

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