Black Girls Must Die Exhausted: A Novel for Grown Ups by Jayne Allen

Author:Jayne Allen [Allen, Jayne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Quality Black Books
Published: 2018-09-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

To say that my evening with Marc had been a disappointment would be like saying, “Serena Williams plays tennis.” Of course Serena Williams plays tennis, but that’s not what has made her remarkable. What has made her remarkable has been her focus, drive and mastery of something that nearly every able-bodied person can do, but where she stands in a league of one. She elevated the pastime of tennis to a place of mental transformation. Her good is so extreme, it evolved the game into almost another sport entirely. If you played against Serena Williams, you wouldn’t be playing tennis, you’d be playing Serena. And when you played Serena, if the true Serena showed up, then only Serena could win. That was my experience with Marc last night. By every assessment, I had been played.

Still, by Sunday afternoon, I had already started to feel bad about the argument, and by the evening I began to second-guess myself on the resolution that seemed so clear at the slam of the car door. Was Marc himself worth waiting for? It was something I needed to figure out, but was competing with life events that were now more important than ever. The promotion announcements at work were soon. Very soon. Word in the office on Friday was that Chris might even use the next newsroom meeting to do it. Where I would otherwise obsess over Marc and my phone, I had no room left in my mind—instead, I was obsessing about reaping season on a hard-worked-for promotion.

On Monday morning, I was a nervous wreck. So, I did what any other nervous wreck would do in my situation, I pretended to be somebody else. I didn’t walk into the office building as just a reporter, I came looking my absolute best, striding in as how I imagined the Beyoncé version of me would with theme music, a DJ and a personal fan in tow. I was strong, powerful, invincible, gorgeous, talented, articulate…and all of a sudden, I was listening to the needle rip on my song. Just as the elevator doors started to close, Scott Stone walked into my elevator for the morning ride up. Because, of course he would. Crap.

“Morning Tabby,” he turned and greeted me with his sunglasses still on.

“Morning Scott,” I replied curtly, barely turning.

“Seems like today’s the day. How are you feeling?” Asshole. What am I supposed to say to that? Yeah, I most definitely feel like I’m going to get this promotion over you today, can’t wait!

“I probably feel similarly to you,” I said. “And mostly nervous, I definitely feel nervous.”

“I don’t feel nervous. Not at all. I feel pretty confident, actually,” Scott said, taking his glasses off, and securing them in the pocket of his blazer.

“Oh? Maybe you know something I don’t, then?”

“Nothing official, but it’s seemed pretty clear for a while now how this thing was going to go,” he volleyed back looking at me like I was a small lost child. “I mean, you didn’t

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