Betty by Tiffany McDaniel

Author:Tiffany McDaniel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2020-08-17T16:00:00+00:00

THE BREATHANIAN

Chickens Go Missing

Last night the sheriff’s office was inundated with reports of gunfire. This morning, chickens were reported missing from a poultry farm. Upon arrival, the sheriff reported finding feathers loose on the ground. Some of the feathers looked as though they were from different species, such as from eagles or hawks.

“What was strange is that the feathers were arranged on the ground,” the poultry farmer commented. When asked in what arrangement the feathers were constructed, the farmer said, “Hell, it looked like they were arranged to look like one of them headdresses. You know the kind you see Injuns wear on the westerns.”

It is not yet known whether the missing chickens are related to the gunfire.

So far there has been no other property damage reported, though Mrs. Wilma Sweetface, 67, has made it known that her flowers have been trampled in front of her house. She believes the shooter is responsible, despite there being flower petals on the soles of her own shoes.

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