Anne Hampson by Boss of Bali Creek

Author:Boss of Bali Creek [HR-2099, MB-847] (v0.9) (epub)
Language: eng
Format: epub

CHAPTER SEVEN

It was only natural that the scene enacted should leave a deep impression on her, and as she stood looking out from her bedroom window half an hour later her nerves were still disordered by the encounter. Why had Wade brought up the past like that? It was not what she would ever have expected, for he was the aloof type, the type whose emotions would be kept firmly reined, whose manner of unruffled calm would never be disturbed. But it had been disturbed; his fury was almost as frightening as that which she had witnessed four years ago - but not quite as frightening, as on that previous occasion he had been fighting for his future, wrathfully commanding her to drop her dogmatic attitude and see clearly just what she was doing with both their lives.

Lorna’s mouth quivered at the memory, and she turned, regarding herself in the mirror. Her face was red, her eyes puffed up, and still far too bright even now, as the tears were building up at the backs of her eyes, striving for release. Her glance strayed to the window again; the solemn solitude of the lonely, bush suited her mood as well as offering balm to her hurts and she decided to walk.

She had not gone far when she began to wonder if she ought to return, for both her aunt and Wade would be wondering why she hadn’t put in an appearance at the tea table. The thought of food was almost nauseating and with a sort of aggressive resistance to the requirements of conformity she increased her pace, filled with the urge to put some distance between herself and the people who were sitting there, waiting, and probably commenting on her lateness.

‘I’ll please myself what I do!’ she said fiercely. ‘Why should I always feel compelled to suit my actions to the needs and the convenience of others? I won’t! For once I’m free — free to do as I like!’ And in this emotioned mood of defiance, brought on by frayed nerves and unhappiness and the scene with Wade, she had only one desire - to be alone, quite alone out in the wilderness, where there was no need to talk, to act as if she had nothing on her mind, just for the sake of her aunt; no need to stem the tears, replacing them with inane smiles, no need to force unwanted food down her, just to satisfy the two who would be watching - and questioning if she appeared not to have an appetite. ‘No, I won’t sit there and do as you both want me to! I don’t want to eat, or drink, or join in your chatter! And why should I be forced to laugh when I feel like crying? Why can’t I do what I want to do! ’

Tears came then, and she allowed them to fall, not troubling to seek for a handkerchief. And she walked on and on, into the quietness and the peace.

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