An Oak Tree by Tim Crouch

Author:Tim Crouch [Crouch, Tim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781840026030
Publisher: OBERON BOOKS Ltd
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

FATHER:

Neil.

HYPNOTIST:

Your wife in, Neil? Say, ‘Wanker’.

FATHER:

Wanker.

HYPNOTIST:

Go and sit on the piano stool.

HYPNOTIST:

Right mate. Okay.

Thank you, Neil, if you’d like to go back into the audience and join your party.

The HYPNOTIST puts ‘Neil’s’ chair over on its side and elicits a round of applause from the audience for ‘Neil’.

Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Neil!

I want this show to be a good one. I really do. I was doing a a a gig just last week. Everything brilliant. Everyone hypnotised. Everyone doing everything I asked them to do.

And just before the end of the show, just before the end I, er, I slipped off the edge of the stage, arse over tit. And the last thing I said before I landed was ‘Fuck me’. Couldn’t sit down for a month. A week.

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