Always Dance with a Hairy Buffalo by Lin Oliver

Author:Lin Oliver
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2013-03-03T16:00:00+00:00

The next morning, Billy awoke to a buzz of activity. The Hoove was in the closet, spinning around like a pinwheel in the wind, and muttering to himself.

“What are you doing in there, Hoove?” Billy yawned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “It sounds like the closet door is going to come right off its hinges.”

“While you were counting sheep, I’ve been in here developing my plan for how I’m going to wrangle that pass from the Higher-Ups,” the Hoove answered. “I can hold Anacapa off for a day, but sooner or later, I am going to need to visit that museum. Sooner is what I’m sure we’d both prefer. At least I know I would.”

The Hoove zoomed out of the closet through the keyhole and over to Billy. “Consequently, I have made a list that includes every responsible activity a ghost, namely me, could participate in. Check this out, Billy Boy. It’s a little bit of perfection, if I say so myself.”

The Hoove handed Billy a long piece of bathroom tissue filled with his scratchy handwriting.

“It looks like a chicken stepped in some ink and walked across this,” Billy said. “Is this supposed to be handwriting?”

“You’re not worthy to hold my list.” The Hoove grabbed the toilet paper back from Billy, almost tearing it in half. “I will read it to you myself.”

“Be careful, you’re about to lose one of the squares.”

“Instead of employing your bad sense of humor, employ your ears,” the Hoove snapped. Then he began to read. “One. I will locate all elderly ladies within my boundary and help them carry their grocery bags filled with prune juice and cat food. Two. I will return every lost dog to its rightful owner, even if it has fleas. Three. I will make banana cupcakes for Amber Brownstone’s bake sale. With yellow sprinkles on top.”

“How do you know she’s having a bake sale?” Billy asked.

“We ghosts know everything. We are all-seeing and all-knowing.”

“If you know so much, how come you don’t know how to convince the Higher-Ups to spring you just this once?”

“Hence, the list, Mr. Broccoli. When I get finished with my perfect day, no one in this world or the other one will be able to say no to Hoover Porterhouse the Third. I will have proved myself responsible beyond a shadow of a doubt. When you see Anacapa, tell her to meet me tomorrow at the mall. Outside Theatre Three. That’s within my boundaries. And there I will surprise her with the big news.”

“What news?”

“That I will be there tomorrow night at the performance. I will tell her that I wouldn’t miss the Native American celebration for all the cotton candy at a carnival.”

“But, Hoove, what if they don’t offer you the pass by then? You’re promising something you may not be able to deliver.”

“You, my friend, are a negative thinker. I, on the other hand, am filled with positivity. So go, deliver the message. I got a flock of seniors to escort.”

The Hoove flew out the window without so much as a good-bye.

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