Addiction by Lena Little

Author:Lena Little [Little, Lena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-11-22T18:30:00+00:00

8

True to his word, Director Ballard has managed to avoid me for most of the last week. He eats early and gets out of the mess hall before I get there. He doesn’t hold any one-on-one counseling sessions and doesn’t supervise hikes or work details anymore. Director Ballard has pulled back from helping with the day-to-day operations and has taken on more of a background support role. I’ve tried getting his attention and I’ve tried talking to him. But he just ignores me, usually having one of the other staff members handle me. I didn’t think he’d be able to do it, but he’s managed to keep a big buffer between us.

I honestly didn’t think he’d be able to. I know for a fact that he felt the same connection to me that I felt with him. A connection that was only strengthened when we had sex. I know it because I saw it in his eyes. Felt it in the way he moved inside of me. And I can still see it on those rare occasions when our eyes meet. There’s something between us. I can see it. I can feel it. And even though he’s doing his best to keep a distance between us, I know he can feel it too.

A frown creasing my lips, I follow the trail down to the docks. I asked for some solitary work today and the counselors were more than happy to assign me to clean up the boathouse, which I’m fine with. It’s isolated and it gives me some time to think. The one thing this weird situation with Director Ballard has convinced me to do, the one thing he said that’s stuck, is that I need to do the work on myself. Despite what my mother thinks, I don’t have a drinking problem. I do have other issues though, and being in this environment, surrounded by a staff trained to help me address them, is helping me to unlock those things and find ways to better deal with them.

I admit I was resistant to the idea of doing work on myself. Counseling isn’t something I thought I needed and frankly, I kind of resented the idea that they thought it was. But once I opened my mind, started listening to the staff, and, as they say, put in the work, I’ve gotten a new perspective on things. Or at least, I’m starting to. It's going to take some time to turn myself around but the things I'm learning have been enlightening. They’ve opened my eyes and are helping me better understand my thoughts and behaviors. The staff at Forward Path is helping me to understand myself in ways I didn’t know I could.

The water in the lake softly laps against the legs of the dock. It’s a peaceful, soothing sound. The sky is deep blue and dotted with fat, fluffy clouds, and it’s pleasantly warm with a soft, cool breeze whispering across the water. It’s a beautiful day. And for the first time since I arrived here, I feel at peace.

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