A Burning in My Bones by Winn Collier

Author:Winn Collier [Collier, Winn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2021-03-23T00:00:00+00:00

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While Eugene was riddled with regret over his relationship with his dad, he abounded in gratitude for his relationship with his mom. He once wrote to his mother, describing how when leading couples through premarital counseling, he often found himself asking questions about each one’s mother:

“What kind of woman was she?…Would you like to be like her?…etc.” And [I] inevitably get a picture of a woman who is much less than adequate as a mother. All the time I cannot refrain from silently—almost unconsciously—making comparisons with my own mother, and being grateful for the strengths, the virtues, the genuine righteousness that nurtured me through the years of growth and development.

This kind of almost automatic comparison, and grateful remembrance, is a daily part of my work now. You are much more with me these last 2 or 3 years than you ever were before. It is surprising to me how vividly you permeate my life—much more than you did 10 years ago.

I don’t think I have ever said this to you, Mother, (and it is a fairly recent development) but it is a kind of presence which is strong and good—and which makes it possible to be a minister of the gospel with a special kind of freedom and confidence.

I had always supposed that the crucial years of motherhood were during the years of child-rearing—but these present years of separation seem to me to be almost equally influential. What you are now, not what you have been, is enormously important to me and feeds into the kind of person I am and the ministry I share. There is an operation of our Lord’s grace here that I do not understand but feel as if I have some faint, glimmering apprehension at the edge. Prayer is without doubt a major factor. But there must also be some special energy attached to the office of motherhood (at least your motherhood) that our Lord uses for his glory.

This is being said badly—clumsily—but I hardly know what I am talking about, except that you are extremely important to me today, that my love for you has been strangely magnified recently, that you seem to be a vital part of the ministry I share with others, that God uses you in an unusual way with me.

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