Your Day, Your Way: The Fact and Fiction Behind Your Daily Decisions by Timothy Caulfield

Author:Timothy Caulfield [Caulfield, Timothy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780762472482
Google: TMHbDwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2020-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

First, let’s look at how much time we actually spend with our kids. Despite the perception among parents that they aren’t spending enough time with their children, parental time with kids has actually increased over the past few decades. In 1965 men spent just 16 minutes a day doing childcare activities. In 2012 that number had increased to 59 minutes. Women still do more childcare work (no surprise), and their childcare time has also increased. According to the Pew Research Center, in 1965, American women spent, on average, 10 hours a week on childcare; in 2016 that number was 14 hours.

These numbers tell two conflicting stories. Yes, for those of us with kids, the increase in hours spent on childcare may contribute to our feelings of an overall time crunch. But they also tell us that we are spending more time with our kids, despite a pervasive perception that we aren’t.

A 2018 study led by Professor Melissa Milkie of the University of Toronto, and involving data from over 2,000 Canadians, explored how perceptions of having too little time with children may affect parents’ mental and physical health. Consistent with other studies, the researchers found that almost half of the parents report that “they feel that they spend too little time with children.” But the researchers also found that even though much of the angst about not spending time with children is founded on social expectations—the authors note throughout their paper that parent/child time has increased over the years—this feeling of a “time deficit,” as the researchers called it, acts as a genuine stressor on parents, leading to anger, distress, and poor sleep. “Feeling [that they spend] ‘enough’ time with children is quite important to the well-being of employed parents,” the authors conclude. This is true even if the definition of “enough” is set by cultural pressures that may not, as we will see, be tied to the evidence. As the authors note: “It is unclear exactly what employed parents think is remiss, time wise. Ironically, many parents perceive time deficits, and this affects them, even though relative to earlier generations, they spend plenty of time with offspring.”

But just what is “enough” time? I have no doubt that part of the motivation for spending time with kids is based on the simple fact that many parents enjoy hanging with their children. I have four children. When I’m away, which is often, I miss them terribly. But the guilt and stress that parents feel are tied to the idea that they are supposed to be spending time not for their personal enjoyment but for the welfare of their kids.

This is where the research gets interesting. Despite the deeply ingrained and guilt-inducing conventional wisdom, there is, in fact, little evidence to support the idea that more parent time will necessarily result in healthier, happier, and more thriving children. A 2015 study entitled “Does the Amount of Time Mothers Spend with Children or Adolescents Matter?” followed thousands of kids and found that, in general,

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.