Women at Halftime by Shayne Moore & Carolyn Castleberry Hux

Author:Shayne Moore & Carolyn Castleberry Hux [Moore, Shayne & Castleberry Hux, Carolyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Success, SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness
ISBN: 9781496452399
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Published: 2022-09-20T00:00:00+00:00

Normalize Endings and New Beginnings

In his book Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud states:

Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time.[4]

Dr. Margie Blanchard understands what it takes to uproot what she had previously nurtured and to move on to the next assignment in life. She entered her midlife transition fully invested in a life of service with deep roots in the leadership development business she ran with her husband, Ken. She loved her work as president of the Ken Blanchard Companies because it felt more like a ministry than a job.

Margie hit her halftime transition when a vague feeling of discontent eventually became full-blown weariness. She had been president of the company for eleven years, and she was burning out. When she finally admitted that she needed to stop doing this job and do something else, she felt at a loss about what she wanted to do. That’s when Margie began working with a coach who provided accountability and a program to help her keep moving. She knew accountability was critical because while doing the work of change was necessary, it was not always urgent. If she didn’t have someone creating urgency to change, she knew she could drift for a long time in the familiar.

Part of Margie’s accountability involved answering the question, “What are the biggest obstacles holding you back from moving forward?” The first answer was time capacity. Margie knew that people in transition usually focus first on what they can add to their schedules. Instead, she needed to create a vacuum in her schedule and mental space to explore the possibility of a new path. So Margie wrote a letter to herself and symbolically resigned.

The resignation letter created mental space for her even though she didn’t immediately make other changes. In fact, she kept her office and assistant because she was not sure what was next. She put the letter in a drawer, did not tell anyone about it, and gave herself time to mourn. Even though she had loved her job, she had to admit she was tired of it. It was depleting her of energy. She also knew that making changes in her life would change other people’s lives—including stakeholders and loved ones. This feeling of responsibility toward the people who mattered most weighed on her heart, and she needed time to grieve those losses as well.

Creating mental space allowed Margie to process all her future options and grieve her first half. This was important because she had to mentally let go of her past role and responsibilities, and even her past identity, to allow new things into her life. Getting free required facing her greatest obstacles head-on and getting clear on what was holding her back, which included fears both real and perceived. But somewhere

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