Why You Act the Way You Do by Tim LaHaye

Author:Tim LaHaye
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 0000000000000
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Published: 2011-10-29T00:00:00+00:00

I have pondered a great deal about the difference between the fears of the melancholy and those of the phlegmatic without coming to much of a conclusion. In many ways they are the same fears and have the same ill effects, except that the fears of the melancholy seem more intense and have a more inhibiting influence on him. Phlegmatics let fear inhibit their activities, but they don’t get so upset over the incident Melancholies who fear flying break out in a cold sweat, can’t eat, and can’t sleep even thinking about it The phlegmatic just sets his stubborn jaw and says, “I don’t want to go.”

Vocationally, the phlegmatic is extremely security conscious. Whenever an opportunity comes up offering a choice between high pay and security, the phlegmatic will choose security. The melancholy can hardly make the choice. Both are driven by fear. Melancholies rarely change professions—it’s too scary. Phlegmatics are easier to persuade to do something new than melancholies, but the new venture must offer more security than the present position. I suspect that one reason so many melancholies spend their lifetime in academic pursuits is because they feel secure there, having spent eighteen or so of their first twenty-three years of life there. (Admittedly, they are highly intelligent also.)

The fears of the melancholy that make him insecure about himself are also more intense than those of a phlegmatic. Somehow, even though the mild-mannered phlegmatic has a difficult time feeling capable enough to aggressively pursue something he wants or needs, his fear is not as intense as the melancholy who rejects himself and his abilities. Melancholies seem more self-centered than phlegmatics, so that compounds their fears. A self-centered person worries about everything, even his worry. One melancholy woman told me, “I suppose you noticed that I didn’t take communion today. It was because I confessed all my sins, but I’m afraid there must be one or two sins I forgot.” While we may admire her spiritual consciousness, we are appalled at her fears of displeasing God. No wonder these people are so sad. “An anxious heart weighs a man down” (Prov. 12:25, NIV).

Even the “fear of the Lord” becomes a pathetic fear—to such an extent that it can interfere with love for God. The Bible mentions hundreds of times that the righteous should “fear the Lord.” That is not the same fear as worry, anxiety, and dread. You can’t love someone you feel that way about The word for “fear” as an attitude toward God means “revere, reverence, and special honor.” The only people that should “fear” (dread) God are those who disobey him. If we love him, we obey him; and if we obey him, it is because we “revere” or “honor” him. These are not the same thing. Melancholies and some phlegmatics have a difficult time telling the difference, and it tends to cripple their spiritual lives.

The major difference that I can detect between the fears of the melancholy and those of the phlegmatic is that the

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