What We Wish We'd Known When We Were Newlyweds by John Bytheway & Kimberly Bytheway

Author:John Bytheway & Kimberly Bytheway [Bytheway, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Marriage, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
Publisher: Deseret Book Company
Published: 2000-03-05T16:00:00+00:00

Action Steps

Things to discuss:

How can I best show my love for you? Do you like gifts? notes? touch? time? service?

What help could I give you during the day that would mean the most to you?

Recommended reading:

Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages (Chicago: Northfield Publishers, 1995).

Chapter 5

Money Matters

We live in an age of persuasive advertising and of skillful salesmanship, all designed to entice us to spend. An extravagant husband or wife can jeopardize any marriage. I think it is a good principle that each have some freedom and independence with everyday, necessary expenditures, while at the same time always discussing and consulting and agreeing on large expenditures. There would be fewer rash decisions, fewer unwise investments, fewer consequent losses, fewer bankruptcies if husbands and wives would counsel together on such matters and seek counsel from others.

—Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997), pp. 652–53

Unless you’ve been independent for a while before getting married, the cost of being a newlywed can come as quite a shock. Not only do you have a phone bill but you also have to pay for the phone to be installed. You have electricity, but you might have to pay a deposit and a fee to have service begin. You have a monthly rent payment, but you might also have to pay first and last month’s rent and a security deposit. You used to be covered under Mom and Dad’s insurance, but now you’re on your own. Now you understand why Dad was always walking around the house saying, “Who left this light on?” or “Why is hot water running down the sink?” Life is expensive.

Money matters in a marriage, and carelessness with cash is one of the major causes of difficulty in marriage. Because of your gospel training, you know that money is not the most important thing in the world, but you also know that you need it to live. In the classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life, the following exchange takes place between George Bailey and Clarence the angel:

George: You don’t happen to have eight thousand bucks on you, do ya?

Clarence: Oh no, we don’t use money in heaven.

George: Oh yeah, I keep forgettin.’ Comes in pretty handy down here, Bub.

It sure does.

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