Wellness for the Glory of God by John Dunlop MD

Author:John Dunlop, MD
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crossway

Some, for various reasons, may not have children who are able to care for them, and in such cases, they may want to develop close relationships with other family members. I often see middle-aged people who are devoted to a favorite aunt. Those who are estranged from their children should seek to reconcile as soon as possible. That often requires times of mutual confession and God-enabled forgiveness. When seniors become dependent on children with whom they do not have a good relationship, the children often feel forced by guilt to help. Needless to say, that is a strain on all concerned. Some seniors do all they can to avoid being dependent on their children. If you are one of them, you should anticipate that there will come a time when you need to move to an assisted-living facility or nursing home. If you think this might be the case, you may want to review your financial situation before you stop working. It may be necessary to work for a few more years, defer your Social Security payout, or take out long-term care insurance.16

As you consider the importance of family, it is also wise to think about what kind of legacy you will leave your successors. I am not talking here about money but about the life’s lessons that you want to pass along. I well remember my dear grandmother pounding in to me a single verse: “Those who honor me I will honor” (1 Sam. 2:30). Make sure that your descendants know the stories of God’s grace in your life. If you are going to have much impact on your grandchildren or great-grandchildren, it best starts when they are young. You cannot waltz into a teenager’s life as a stranger and expect to have much influence.

Dealing with Lost Relationships

A challenge to wellness in our later years is coping with the loss of family and close friends. This requires a resilience to keep going and an eye out for new opportunities to grow and contribute to others.

The loss that is likely the toughest to deal with is the death of a spouse. The way the survivor initially responds frequently sets the tone for their remaining years. Sadly for some, grief is overwhelming, and they die of a broken heart soon after their spouse is gone. We know that Christians are not to grieve as others who have no eternal hope (1 Thess. 4:13), but they still can and must grieve. Not to grieve would discredit the wonderful gift God gave of a loving spouse and deeply satisfying marriage. It is appropriate to feel the loss deeply, shed tears, and spend time remembering and honoring the deceased. In his classic book A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis describes the long and terrible upheaval he experienced following the death of his wife. He referred to his “mad midnight moment.” Yet having grieved, by God’s grace he came though it to carry on a rich and productive ministry. Eventually, grievers will, by God’s grace,

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