Virgin Crush by Jaye Diamond

Author:Jaye Diamond [Diamond, Jaye]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jaye Diamond
Published: 2021-02-07T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

Clay

“I am a moron, aren’t I?” I say, as we get in Jules’ car. “A moron and caveman.”

“Caveman?” Abigail repeats, brushing her fingers over a spot on my brow that must be bruised, because it stings when she touches it.

“I’m not sure if there’s another way to describe my behavior,” I say, tone sheepish, although I don’t regret hitting Elliot—not after how he looked at her. I know what that look means because I used to give her the same one. He was falling for her, but hopefully my fists—and Abigail choosing to leave with me—put a stop to that.

“I haven’t acted very smart either, lately,” she says, eyes lowered. “I didn’t originally ask Elliot to take that picture with me to make you jealous. I wanted you to see it so you wouldn’t think I’m a virgin anymore—which, as I say it out loud to you—sounds so dumb. I should have just told you what was bothering me. I’ve been wondering if you just want to be friends—and never make a move—because I’ve never had sex.”

She’s worried that I won't be okay with her being a virgin? I try to hold in my laugh but it busts free and is unstoppable for a moment.

“Stop being a jerk,” Abigail whines, slapping my arm. “I know I’m ridiculous, okay? You don’t have to rub my nose in it.”

“It’s not you,” I say, wiping tears from my eyes. “It’s...God—I’ve been a moron because of my virginity too. Because of how I thought you might react if you found out I’ve never had sex.”

There’s a long pause before she speaks. “Oh. I guess I am surprised, but it’s not like I give a shit. Why would you think I would?”

“Because you’re...you’re fucking you,” I tell her, struggling to find the words to express how high above me she is. “You’re a smart, sexy-without-even-trying Rourke, and I’m a nobody. And I thought, ‘Hey, I can be a cool nobody, and she’ll still like me, but if she knew I was a virgin nobody, she’d see how much of a loser I am.’ But I wasn’t going to date you without telling you the truth, so I got stuck in this horrible place where I was in love with you more every day, but also feeling a little more, every day, like I wasn’t the sort of man who deserved you.”

It’s hard to keep my eyes on the road and not take long glances at her as she takes that in. I want to see every little movement of her face as she reacts to my confession. She still just looks surprised to me—not happy—but at least she’s not disgusted or upset.

“Clay...” She leans against me and puts her chin on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. “I don’t care if you’re a virgin. It doesn’t make me think any less of you, as a guy or as someone I love.” She kisses my cheek, with a little extra sweetness than she has before. “But if your virginity bothers you this much, I think we should get rid of it.

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