Virgin Crush by Jaye Diamond
Author:Jaye Diamond [Diamond, Jaye]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jaye Diamond
Published: 2021-02-07T16:00:00+00:00
Chapter 8
Clay
âI am a moron, arenât I?â I say, as we get in Julesâ car. âA moron and caveman.â
âCaveman?â Abigail repeats, brushing her fingers over a spot on my brow that must be bruised, because it stings when she touches it.
âIâm not sure if thereâs another way to describe my behavior,â I say, tone sheepish, although I donât regret hitting Elliotânot after how he looked at her. I know what that look means because I used to give her the same one. He was falling for her, but hopefully my fistsâand Abigail choosing to leave with meâput a stop to that.
âI havenât acted very smart either, lately,â she says, eyes lowered. âI didnât originally ask Elliot to take that picture with me to make you jealous. I wanted you to see it so you wouldnât think Iâm a virgin anymoreâwhich, as I say it out loud to youâsounds so dumb. I should have just told you what was bothering me. Iâve been wondering if you just want to be friendsâand never make a moveâbecause Iâve never had sex.â
Sheâs worried that I won't be okay with her being a virgin? I try to hold in my laugh but it busts free and is unstoppable for a moment.
âStop being a jerk,â Abigail whines, slapping my arm. âI know Iâm ridiculous, okay? You donât have to rub my nose in it.â
âItâs not you,â I say, wiping tears from my eyes. âItâs...GodâIâve been a moron because of my virginity too. Because of how I thought you might react if you found out Iâve never had sex.â
Thereâs a long pause before she speaks. âOh. I guess I am surprised, but itâs not like I give a shit. Why would you think I would?â
âBecause youâre...youâre fucking you,â I tell her, struggling to find the words to express how high above me she is. âYouâre a smart, sexy-without-even-trying Rourke, and Iâm a nobody. And I thought, âHey, I can be a cool nobody, and sheâll still like me, but if she knew I was a virgin nobody, sheâd see how much of a loser I am.â But I wasnât going to date you without telling you the truth, so I got stuck in this horrible place where I was in love with you more every day, but also feeling a little more, every day, like I wasnât the sort of man who deserved you.â
Itâs hard to keep my eyes on the road and not take long glances at her as she takes that in. I want to see every little movement of her face as she reacts to my confession. She still just looks surprised to meânot happyâbut at least sheâs not disgusted or upset.
âClay...â She leans against me and puts her chin on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. âI donât care if youâre a virgin. It doesnât make me think any less of you, as a guy or as someone I love.â She kisses my cheek, with a little extra sweetness than she has before. âBut if your virginity bothers you this much, I think we should get rid of it.
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