Unexpected by Christine Caine

Author:Christine Caine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2018-04-09T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

WHEN THE UNEXPECTED DISHEARTENS

Living Wholeheartedly

Odd, how life makes twists and turns. I never would have guessed that I’d end up where I am now, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wouldn’t trade this path I’m on for the whole solar system, for that matter. If I’ve learned anything these last several months, it’s that sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn’t mean to take.

—ANGELA BLOUNT

You said we would only live here two years. Two years! Then it was another two years! And I was patient. I understood the reasons. But then it was another two on top of that. That’s eight years, Sam! Eight years of waiting to move on with our lives. I’m sick of you saying, ‘Just two more years.’ I can’t keep living like this—feeling like our lives are so temporary. We have three children now. We need stability. We need roots. Enough is enough!”

Kylie stared out the window remembering every harsh word she’d hurled at her husband the night before. Not one to cry, she couldn’t suppress how painfully the words seared her heart—probably just like they must have stung Sam.

He’s so tired of hearing me complain, she thought. Heck, I’m tired of hearing me complain. But we can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep living like this.

Although Kylie had taken out her frustrations and disappointment on her husband, she knew in her heart he wasn’t the true cause of her misery. This was all about her. There was something God wanted to do inside of her. This whole chapter of her life had been so unexpected—so not what she had dreamed, so not what she thought marriage and ministry would be like—and she had not adjusted well.

Lord, I give up. Show me what to do. Help me change. Help me trust you.

Kylie had never really had to adapt to new surroundings. She had always lived a life of doing what was expected, living in a location that was expected, going to school as expected, attending church as expected. Even her circle of friends was expected. More than twenty-five years ago, she and I had been church friends who became best friends. We played squash together, dreamed about the future together, and couldn’t wait to share Jesus with everyone we met. But unlike my life, Kylie’s had been very predictable.

Where I had to overcome so many things—being abandoned, adopted, abused—she had been raised in a good Christian home with plenty of stability. Nothing in life had ever really rocked her internally. Nothing challenged the strength of her heart—until she married and moved away from everything she’d ever known.

Her family.

Her friends.

Her security.

Her identity.

That last one was the one that hurt the most. Deep down, she knew that was the real issue. She loved the strong sense of identity she’d had in her early years. She loved having so many friends, feeling like she lived in a world where she knew everyone and everyone knew her. She loved feeling together and in control.

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