The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse by Larraine Bennett & Art Bennett

Author:Larraine Bennett & Art Bennett [Bennett, Larraine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sophia Institute Press
Published: 2012-08-20T16:00:00+00:00

INSTEAD OF TRY THIS

“So now you’re the cleaning Nazi?” “I’m sorry I left a mess in the bathroom. I know how hard you work at keeping our house looking beautiful. I’m going to try harder from now on to help out.”

Annie also had to commit herself to remaining empathic and non-defensive when Ben did have a complaint. She told herself that if she really wanted Ben to be more communicative, she’d have to learn to be more patient and receptive of what he had to say. Sometimes having an uncomplaining phlegmatic spouse can leave us with an inflated idea of how much we’re contributing to the marriage! If we really want a phlegmatic to speak his mind, we must be prepared to hear criticisms we weren’t expecting, and to guard ourselves against reacting out of wounded pride.

As is the case with any virtue, the more Ben practiced being open and initiating, the easier it became, even though every once in a while, he still had a phlegmatic zone-out. Another great result was that these disclosures strengthened their marriage, because Ben and Annie were now talking to each other on a deeper level about their likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, and desires.

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