The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson & M.D

Author:Curt Thompson & M.D. [Thompson, Curt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2015-08-18T16:00:00+00:00

Downloading the Virus

The propagation of shame, when not relationally resolved, inevitably is made complete: “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves” (Genesis 3:7).

The highlight of this text is the fact that the eyes of the man and woman were opened. Who or what is opening their eyes if they are not actively doing so? Could it be that each now sees the other in ways that are judging, condescending and extensions of what the woman took in from the serpent? In the same way that the woman’s eyes are opened by the serpent, so this vector is transmitted to each other. In so doing, they became acutely aware of their nakedness, their vulnerability. Imagine the conversation: “So, Eve, I’ve noticed you have put on a few pounds.” She retorts, glancing below his waist, “Perhaps, but I’m not nearly as un­attractive as, well, that.” Fig leaves are all they have left to cope.

After they have cut parts of each other out of their lives, they next do the same with God. “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8).

Hiding is the natural response to shame. This is especially true when we experience it in a toxic form, but most of our hiding takes place in the everyday comings and goings of life. We hide from everyone, not least being ourselves, in every imaginable way. Furthermore, all the hiding I do from others begins with all the smoke and mirrors I employ within my own mind. There are multiple parts of myself that I don’t want to know. It would be too shaming. For I know the parts of me that I don’t like, and that I presume that God does not either. They include my judging, lying, stealing, gluttonous, hoarding, lusting, adulterous, arrogant selves just to name a few. But as David Benner points out, quoting John Calvin, we cannot expect to know God fully if we are not willing to know ourselves, for one depends on the other.5

Hiding from my different parts, however, is just the beginning. All other secrecy is merely an extension of that. We hide from family members. We hide from those sitting next to us in the church pew. We hide from our spouse. We hide from our neighbors. We hide from other ethnic and religious groups. We live in a culture where we are afraid to reveal who we are for fear of being shamed for being who we are. We find it virtually impossible to have public discourse about anything that touches our more vulnerable parts. This hiding comes not only because we anticipate that we will be shamed, but even more important, in our memory we carry a sense that we are shameful.

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