The Son With Two Moms by Anthony Hynes

Author:Anthony Hynes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Anthony Martin Hynes
Published: 2014-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 22: Speech Lessons

Contrary to what some believe, same-sex couples do not go into adoption with their eyes closed, they understand how some will look at their family, their sons, their daughters. As one gay parent, surmised: “As gay and lesbian parents, we are all under the stress of knowing that some people harbor violently negative feelings about our families. It is an awareness that may remain a mere whisper in the dim recesses of our consciousness or move to the foreground with frightening clarity, but it is an ongoing part of our lives. Each time we address the issue of our visibility, we balance our ideals, our politics, our hopes for support, and our parenting goals against our caution, our need for privacy, and our fatigue.”

The same can be said for children of gay and lesbian parents, who understand the risks associated with growing up in a family structure thought to be sinful to many. They understand the risks, which is why they work so hard to be open individuals, to be accepting of others, and to respect the cultural traditions of other families. They know what it feels like to feel excluded, which is why they make sure others never have to feel uncomfortable around them.

For me, this sentiment manifested itself in how I chose to interact with my Christian peers. Some of them wore their faith on their sleeves, others did not. Some prayed before every meal, others did not. However in both cases one thing was clear—they felt attacked. They said the media kept saying they were evil, that they spread hate. That they attacked every gay person they saw. They felt as though they were being portrayed as homophobes who wanted all gays burned at the stake. They felt as though their country was being taken over by a liberal media who wanted to shove abortion and same-sex couples down their throats as if the Bible hadn’t condemned both. They felt as if they were the minority, and that soon the country would try to eradicate their way of thinking through new laws and initiatives. In regard to the latter, they had a point. Several states in the nation allowed civil unions for same sex couples, and several others had made gay marriage legal.

Most Christians were fine with gay people individually, but the Bible said it wasn’t right for them to be with each other (romantically), and although they loved their gay friend, neighbor, or cousin, they just couldn’t bring themselves to endorse a union they felt violated God’s law. If I was in their shoes, I cannot say I would have felt any differently; if I was raised my entire life with the knowledge that homosexuality was wrong—even evil—it would be hard to go out and vote for same-sex marriage. It might be harder still, to form a friendship with the child of a same-sex couple, knowing full well that I didn’t approve of the “lifestyle” lead by his or her parents.

People tend to form close ties with people whose familial background is similar to theirs.

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