The Rise and Fall of El Solo Libre by Peter Nelson

Author:Peter Nelson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2012-08-28T04:00:00+00:00

“But more likely it’s a meteor, right?” Sammi asked.

“Oh, yes,” said SarcasmaTron. “Because so many meteors nowadays are shaped like attack ships.”

Herbert’s face began to go pale again. “It’s an alien?! A real one? But you calculated the chances of an attack at a tetraquadzillion-to-one!”

“And I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am,” the snide computer quipped. “Really. I can’t.”

Herbert began hyperventilating as he stared at the pointy black shape. It moved past Uranus and was fast approaching Neptune.

“Take it easy. Maybe they’re friendly,” Sammi offered. “Like the G’Daliens.”

“Yes!” Herbert said desperately. “They’re friendly, like the G’Daliens! If one alien visitor can be friendly, it’s absolutely logical to extrapolate that a second visitor would also be—”

“Greetings, inhabitants of Earth. We bring you good news!” The voice interrupted Herbert’s hypothesis. He smiled for a moment—until he saw the Klapthorian’s creepy bug face.

“This is your Klapthorian Confirmation for Earth’s appointment to be annihilated tomorrow, between the hours of noon and four. We’re happy to let you know that we are on schedule!”

“Say, you were right,” Sarcasmatron said. “They are friendly!”

Herbert let out a tiny squeal.

“Wait.” Sammi stared up at the scaly faced captain. “What do you mean, ‘appointment’? No one here made any appointments with you!”

She looked around the room. Everyone shook their heads no.

“IT WAS THE ONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF…‘EL SOLO LIBRE!’”

The image on the screen fizzled again. Suddenly, they were watching a digital playback of Alex making his intergalactic crank phone call.

Everyone stood around the room with mouths hanging open, watching as Alex trash-talked an actual Klapthorian captain, double-dog-daring an entire species of alien warriors to attack.

“SEE YOU IN ABOUT TWENTY-FOUR EARTH HOURS, DEPENDING ON TRAFFIC. HAVE A TERRIFIC DAY!”

The image fizzled again and disappeared. Sammi was in a state of shock.

“We have to warn the mayor.”

“Yes,” Herbert said through gritted teeth. His face had its color back. In fact, it had gone from pale to pink, and was now headed toward a fire-engine ragey-red.

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