Rock Star Lover (Carnal Diaries) by Yvonne Nicolas

Author:Yvonne Nicolas
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

February 19th Tuesday/ 5:41am

Dull The Pain

After Travis broke off our engagement, I stayed up all night eating chunky monkey ice cream and watching one of my favorite shows, Scandal. Little good that did me. The relationship between Fitz and Olivia only reminded me of how crazy in love I am with Ripp.

So, I cried some more.

The next night was the same thing; sleeplessness, ice cream, Scandal and more tears. I’ve never felt this sad and misplaced in my life.

Earlier, I’d spent the day with my mom, hoping her presence would cheer me up. What a big damn mistake that was. Instead of allowing me to find solace in her company, she spent a better part of day prying into my personal business. I remained silent on the issue. Many times, I tried to change the subject with hopes she would leave me the hell alone about it, but as persistent as my mom is, she didn’t give me a chance to forget that I had a gaping sore spot in my heart.

Giving me that deep husky chortle, she shook her head. “This is about Ripp, isn’t it? Uh-huh, I know it is. It’s always about him. Chile, you kids these days—just don’t make no sense. You know you’re in love with that boy. You’ve always been in love with him. Might as well fess up and stop stressing about it.”

Really, mom? Really? Without saying a word, I got up and left. I hated the fact she could read me like a book.

It’d been two days since my falling out with Ripp and I hadn’t heard a word from him. Two days. I yearned to hear his voice, but I needed to give him time, right? This silence was eating at me. Our last moments together flashed across my mind. The expression on his face, a cross between anger and love, his hands roaming over my body, fingers tweaking my nipples and stroking my clit… I found myself lying in bed, caressing every burning spot he touched.

Hand still between my legs, I rolled over onto my stomach and moaned into the pillow. Yet another sleepless night. For hours, I’d been twisting and turning, fighting the need to masturbate. At one point during my roll about, I fell out of bed. I couldn’t even laugh at myself. Instead, I curled up on the floor and bawled my eyes out.

This was so damn pathetic, and I was tired of feeling like this.

I hopped up and rushed to the bathroom. After washing the tears from my face, I tried calling Ripp. Regardless of what had happened between us, I needed to talk to him. I wouldn’t be able to rest until I did.

When the tone for the voicemail sounded, I said, “Look, I know I fucked up and you’re punishing me for it. I get it. But this is ridiculous. Two days, Ripp? No more avoiding me. We need to talk.”

I glanced at the time. It was early, too early. He’s probably asleep. Even if he was, he slept with his phone under his pillow, so I’m sure he heard the ringing.

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